Marine Tigers

In Modesto, CA

The two lovers walked side by side, their steps in sync, their fingers intertwined, and wrists touching. Jeremiah hadn't been back here since he left when he was a teenager. All the associations his brain had made in Modesto made his head feel like cotton. He felt as though he was in a dream. It was surreal.

"You said there was a Starbucks up the road a bit?" Nate asked.

Jeremiah watched the cracks in the sidewalk go by as they walked, "Yeah."

Nate held the door for Jeremiah at the entrance, and they both took their orders and sat down at a wooden table.

"Babe, you don't seem like yourself," Nate said.

Jeremiah couldn't bring himself to look Nate in the eyes. Instead he studied the wood grain on the table. He was not his usual perky and assertive self, Nate was right.

"Jer, I know this brings up a lot of bad memories for you. But I think we should still do it," said Nate.

"I don't know, Babe, I kinda don't think it's gonna help," Jeremiah replied.

"Seeing the house is gonna help you come to terms with what happened. You can't just bury your feelings and not deal with them. You need to face it. That's the only way to get over what happened," Nate explained. He took Jeremiah's hand in both of his.

Jeremiah didn't reply, just looked at his bracelets, the ones that Nate gave him.

"What do you think?" Nate asked, breaking the silence.

"I think our drinks are done," Jeremiah said as he got up and left the table.

Nate got in the driver's seat of the G Wagon, Jeremiah the passenger's seat. He turned off the radio and took Jeremiah's hand. "Everything's going to be okay, Babe. You got me, okay?"

Jeremiah shook his head, "I know, but this is something I don't think is gonna go away just like that," tears started welling up in his eyes, "To be so rejected by your own parents that you have to move to LA, become homeless — I don't think you understand."

Nate squeezed Jeremiah's hand. "I don't. This is your story, not mine. Nobody else knows what it's like to have a history like your's, besides you Jer. But I'm here with you, supporting you, every step of the way. Now, do you want to get this over with?"

"I still don't want to go," Jeremiah managed to crack a smile.

"Now Babe, don't be difficult," Nate said, returning a smile.

The two took off.

"Now, you'll have to point out to me which one it is," Nate said, looking around and slowing down the car.

"Take the next left," Jeremiah replied, "that's it. I love what they've done with the place."

"Babe, you gotta get out of design mode," Nate laughed.

"You know it's how I cope, babe," Jeremiah said.

Nate rubbed his lover's shoulder, "You're taking this surprisingly well, Jer."

"Oh I'm not, you just can't see it yet," said Jeremiah.

Nate ran his hand through Jeremiah's hair, "Tell me what's going on in that pretty head of your's."

Jeremiah took a deep breath in through his nose and out his mouth. Tears started streaming down his face. "It still hurts. To have your parents want you gone so much that they cut contact kick you out. Even my step parents wouldn't take me in. I guess it was a disgrace to the family or something to be gay. They were protecting their reputation. They didn't love me enough to look past this. Its a hard thing to live with, y'know?"

"But look at how far you've come despite these challenges. You've got a husband, two beautiful children, a family, hell, even a TV show. You did all this. You're a talented designer, you have  mvaluable input. You did all this even with the weight of what happened to you, and that's such an admirable thing, Babe."

Nate wiped tears from Jeremiah's cheek.

"Thanks, Nate. It's not something I think I can ever get over, but it's something I'm learning to come to terms with," Jeremiah explained.

"Now, how do you feel?"

"I'm feeling a bit better."

Nate tangled his fingers in Jeremiah's hair, and pulled his lover closer. The two began to kiss, gently at first, but then escalating. Nate gripped Jeremiah's arm, while Jeremiah clumsily wrapped his arms around Nate's neck — the car seats preventing any smooth movements.

"I love you," Jeremiah breathed between kisses.

Nate broke the kiss, staring into his lover's eyes. He pulled Jeremiah in for a long, warm hug.

"What would the cops say if they caught us?" Nate asked.

"Can I join?" Jeremiah replied.

Nate laughed, "You're so dirty."

"I know, Babe. I know."

"Well, why don't we get going here? How about I surprise you with a date night? I'll take you out to a fancy restaurant and then we head back to the hotel room?"

"I like the sound of that."

"Good. Now, you'll just have to Google 'fancy restaurants in Modesto' because I left my reading glasses back at the hotel room."