Love To The Limits (Wattys2019)

CHAPTER 51

Reality have destroyed me more than blades could ever do.

•••

Mistake

Have you ever screwed your life so bad that you can't even think how to continue living with it anymore?

"Song Mino. A member of a ballad group WINNER under YG Entertainment will take participate for the investigation of the controversial drug scandal inside one of the famous club in Hongdae, Club Gabbia, reawakening the Burning Sun Scandal six years ago.."

What I saw made all the energy left in me completely disappear as well my tears slowly falling blurring my vision.

The news was the least of my concern as I stared on the stick and felt another hot tears falling.

The two lines of the pregnancy test is very, very visible. It is undeniable unlike my first and second attempt.

I heaved a deep breath and gasp for air before my sobs echoed inside the bathroom. Slamming myself on the cold tiled floor, I weep for the love that was long dead years ago but I couldn't weep more for the possibilities I couldn't able to save myself from destruction.

"Oh, god.." I grunted under my breath and cried harder.

My head was totally a mess. I want to scream all my frustration but I couldn't find my voice anymore. As much as I want to blame Mino but I just couldn't for a reason that I am to blame for being so reckless that night.

I was too drunk and too broken to stay sane wanting to drown myself with alcohol buying some times to rethink my life and for once forget that I'm living on this cruel world I chose over my happiness.

Yes, I can't deny the possibility Kai would fall for someone else but knowing he did, pained me even more. But there's nothing more painful than knowing he finally found someone else he wanted to spend the rest of his life.

Because damn, I am just the only one who can't be moved between the two of us. And the funny thing was, it's been fucking six years.

I want to get mad at him. I want to curse right there and then. He told me he'd wait until the day he can forget me or until the day I couldn't forget him.

It's been six years and I still can't forget him. Maybe it was the reason he stop. Because he knew. He knew it was already deep that I couldn't find the courage to save myself and find my way out.

"He's getting married. Can you believe it?" I laughed bitterly and took another shot.

"Jen, that's enough. You're drunk."

"Oppa.." I turned to him with my blurry vision. "Can you believe that it still hurts?"

He didn't say anything and watch me weep. I cried more drowning myself with alcohol and promised to myself this will be the last time I'd cry over him. I would definitely fix all my shit and move the fuck on.

I was drunk and badly want to forget everything. I want to get lost. Making mistake ain't bad though.

Yet here I am, regretting what I did with my whole chest.

I am pregnant. That's the reason why my motion sickness gets worsen for the past six consecutive days. I couldn't even eat properly and continuously vomits. I became more grouchy over petty things.

Because I an fucking pregnant that I couldn't find the courage to believe it and my will to accept it.

I just can't.

But this is my reality. I'll be a mother in no time bearing Mino's child. The least I could do is to correct my mistake.

But imagining the horrifying things would happen as soon I start to open my mouth to speak scares me. My family will be dissapointed. The pinks will get worried. I'm fucking dead with Mr. Yang's lament.