Being One of Jehovah's Witnesses and Life After

Born In

The Jehovah's Witness (JW) religion was the only one I ever knew. My mom converted when I was too young to remember and I was raised "in the truth" as they like to say. That phrase sums up how the teachings were viewed by me, it was the truth, plain and simple. Everyone else was wrong, including my grandparents who were Baptist. I remember my mother telling me that my grandma and grandpa were going to die at Armageddon. I should emphasize that my mom was much blunter than most JWs who like to sugar coat such teachings. And so I grew up fearing Armageddon and what it would mean for my grandparents who I didn't want to see die. 

Fear is a big part of being a JW. Fear of Armageddon for me was secondary to a more immediate terror: demons. To JWs, demons are a very real and ever-present threat. You can bring them into your home through spiritistic movies and books, through objects you might find at yard sales or second-hand stores, and even through toys that are magically themed. Once in your home, they can torment you in many ways. I was very scared of demons and was kept awake many a night by strange sounds I heard or shadows I saw. Every JW had demon stories, either about themselves or someone they knew or heard about. So demons being out to get me and drag me away from the safety of Jehovah was just a fact of life.

When I was in the third grade, my mother was disfellowshipped (shunned for serious sin) and my sisters and I were sent to live with my grandparents for a couple of years while she was gone out into "the world." As I said, my grandparents were Baptist and so I was exposed to things like Christmas and birthdays which were normally off limits to JWs. I felt a lot of guilt for participating in these occasions, guilt that 8-10-year-olds should not have to feel. I did continue to go to JW meeting with my uncle and cousins, although irregularly.

My mom married a non-believer and I went back to live with her. During my teen years, she was working towards getting reinstated into the religion, so we began going to every meeting and I started studying to progress towards baptism. I felt reluctant because as a teen, I began to feel like maybe I wanted to do something different with my life, although I still felt that JWs unquestionably had "the truth".

But I received a lot of praise for my advancement in my Bible study. I was good at grasping things that I was taught and I made insightful comments at the Watchtower meeting and book studies. I was well-behaved and did not get into trouble like most of the other teenagers in the congregation. It felt nice to belong and be wanted by everyone in the congregation. So before I knew it, my life revolved around being a JW. I was baptized at 18 and began my career as one of Jehovah's Witnesses.