It Never Ended ~ Jemi

14.

Demi: I think it was just you blaming it in yourself

Joe: how's that?

Demi: you blamed yourself for my condition...rehab, you know

Joe: no, I didn't...I was a little too much in love with you it took me like 3 years to move on from that feeling

DEMI P.O.V.: I looked at him and started laughing.

Demi: stop with that...we both know the truth

Joe: you'll never believe me when I say that I was really in love with you?

Demi: Joe, it's okay to say you weren't...you didn't have to be in love with me just because I was

Joe: it's not like I decided what I wanted to feel Demi, of course I wasn't happy with the feelings, we were best friends and I was afraid of losing everything. For a long time I tried to tell myself that I only wanted you for physical things but, guess what?

Demi: what?

Joe: then I realized that, in fact, I had feeling for you...huge, deep, strong feelings towards my best friend

Demi: you did?

Joe: yes, that's what I've been trying to tell you all these years

Demi: and um....why didn't you look for me after rehab?

Joe: I didn't cause I knew the effect that I had on you. I was young and as a teenager or young adult all I wanted to do was be with different girls and have sex, go to parties, drink and stuff like that...and I knew you were vulnerable. I didn't want to break your heart if I ever cheated on you nor take you to de down spiral again taking you to parties and drinking

Demi: just...that?

Joe: yea, I guess I was a little coward for not going after you but I just wanted your happiness and I know that, in that moment, you wouldn't be happy with me

Demi: it's okay, I was fine, I was loved by Wilmer, I was rehabilitating and honestly...it's true...all you said. I would've started drinking and partying again and plus, the heartbreak...I probably would've...overdose (I said in a whisper)

Suddenly, the truth hit me. Was the overdose really a mistake? Or was it just my mind acting for herself and trying to kill me because my body and brain wasn't brave enough to do it? I can't remember hpw everything happened that day....I honestly can't. The only thing that I remember, it's seeing blurry figures around me trying to save me and me...saying them that...what did I say to them?

Joe: hey, you okay?

Demi: huh- what?

Joe: you froze for some minutes...are you feeling okay?

Demi: umm, yea yea. I was just thinking (I tried to smile at him and something in his stares told me that he didn't believe it)

Joe: if you say so...what do you want to do?

Demi: we could eat something and talk more about our lifes

Joe: fine I'm gonna call a delivery to bring us food. What do you want?

Demi: surprise me...Joe, can I use your bathroom?

Joe: yes of course...upstairs, the second door to the left side

Demi: thank you...I'll be back

I needed time alone.

I need to remember what happened that day. I need to remember what I said to the figures that were trying to save me...but in my heart, I'm sure that I probably shouldn't remember it because that'd be hard. That will give me the truth. The real reason why I overdosed. Mistake or unconscious suicide?