Tae's Baby - Taegi

nine

Jin-Hyung didn't say anything about the language this time which was probably for the best.

But I felt so guilty after saying that, he looked down at his lap where my bowl was and then looked at all the other members who, in turn, looked away and pretended they didn't see or hear anything.

He and I didn't really speak for the rest of the day, we acted like we normally would on stage so that the fans wouldn't get worried but we hadn't said a word to each other after my little outburst.

The concert ended and we sat in silence in the van, I went to bed without dinner as soon as we got back. Obviously that didn't mean I skipped washing up and dressing.

I could hear the others talking and eating, I couldn't hear what they were saying but I felt nervous for some reason. I had trouble getting to sleep, almost as if I was waiting for something, or someone. And I knew deep down I was waiting for V, it felt weird sleeping without him now, I think that's why I had trouble sleeping with Jimin.

I heard the familiar deep voice saying goodnight and figured he'd expect me to be asleep by now, so I pretended I was. I remembered what Namjoon had told me about my habit so I started sucking on my finger as if I were doing it in my sleep and I evened out my breathing.

He entered the room and I heard him wash up and change his clothes, he laid down on the other side of the bed and went to sleep after almost 10 minutes. I felt a bit upset that he didn't even acknowledge me, he didn't try to cuddle me and he didn't give me a dummy like he had a few nights ago.

I still wasn't sure if he did that every night or only that one but if he'd done it then, that meant he obviously had at least one dummy. Remembering the drawer I heard that morning, I sat up once I was sure he was asleep and I quietly walked to his bedside table.

Once I'd found the right drawer I was surprised at the small stash he had, I was sat on the floor with my legs spread like a young child. I held the green dummy in my hand and observed it with a sad expression.

I missed it, I really did. It became clear to me that I wasn't really sure if I was big or little right now, I couldn't figure out if sucking my finger earlier made me slip. But it was clear that if I hadn't already then I was extremely close to slipping, somewhere between big and little.

I got angry at myself for wanting that part of me back. No, I wasn't doing it, I'm an adult, not a child. Not a freak.

I chucked it back into the drawer and stood up, turning away. But before I could move I found myself turning back around and picking it up again.

I closed the drawer and put it in my mouth, quietly running back to my side and jumping into the bed, getting snuggly in the covers. It was really hard to not laugh at that, I had basically just stolen a dumdum, my own dumdum!

I let out a small giggle and grabbed a pillow to cuddle, it smelt like Taetae so I was happy. I smooshed my face into it more and kept sucking my dumdum, almost all asleep.

My eyes shot open and I stopped sucking the dummy in my mouth, had I just slipped? It was a little foggy and I couldn't really remember what had just happened, I felt so lost and confused. How was I supposed to know when I was little, was I still little at the moment?

I pulled the dummy from my mouth and stood up, walking toward the door before I stopped.

I put it back in and ran back to grab the Taetae pillow, then I left as quiet as I could so I don't wake Taetae. I tiptoed to Joonie's room and opened it quiet as I can.

"Heyyo?" I whispered with my dumdum in my mouth, there was two boys in the bed but I don't know the second one, only Joonie.

So I walked to him and tapped his shoulder, he opened his eyes and made a grumpy noise full of sleep. Then his eyes got big when he looked at me, "Yoongi-Hyung?"

My lips went wobbly and my eyes went wet, I didn't like that word. It made me sad and I don't know why, "Sorry, sorry! I mean, Yoonie?"

I sniffed a bit and he picked me up to sit on his lap, I had to be quiet so that number two boy stays sleep, "Joonie..... somefings wong."

It sounded a bit not right because my dumdum was in the way but Joonie is smart so he knew what I said.

"Aw no, nothing's wrong, I promise. Come here," he snuggled my head in his chest and I snuggled my arms around him.

He pulled away from the snuggle and looked at my Taetae pillow, "What's this here for?"

I looked at it too and picked it up, I had to say sorry to it because I accidentally forgot to snuggle it for a bit, but that's okay because I can say sorry later. I took out my dumdum so I can talk to Joonie, "Vis my Taetae piyyow. I waned warm and snuggwes but I don wan wake Taetae, so now I have Taetae piyyow. Here, you tan snuggwe it too if you wan, it smew yike Taetae." (A/N: Little Yoongi has trouble with his L's but I don't know how to write the way he's saying these in my head, just imagine saying the words normally but without pronouncing the L's.)

Joonie smiled but didn't snuggle it, why not? It's a good snuggler.

"Do you want to sleep with me tonight, Yoonie?" I nodded my head and he picked me up, he gave me my dumdum and I sucked it while he started walking. I made sure I still had Taetae pillow in my hand, we were in the lounge and he put me down on the couch.

I don't know when he did it but he had a blanket so at some point he pparently grabbed it, so we snuggled on the couch with the Taetae pillow and the blanket to be warm.

-

-

-

-

A/N: Bit of little Yoongi for you 😊