Mutations

August 1-2, 2003

August 1-2, 2003

I was still traumatized over what had happened on the boat, and it's been over two weeks since it happened. I wasn't as mad at Matthew as I was the night we found him. He would come in my room when I had nightmares about what happened. He had bandages wrapped around his arms most the time that week.

It was around midnight and I was laying on the roof outside Matthew's window with him. The air was warm and the sky was clear. I was laying leaning into his side, his arm was around me. I was thinking about what happened on the boat again. It would pop into my thoughts all the time, no matter how much I tried to forget it.

"Matthew?" I said. His eyes were closed.

"Buddy?" He said back, I saw him look down at me.

"What happened to Mr. Mark?" I asked. Mr. Mark was my dad's friend who took us out on the boat. No one ever said anything about him after the boat accident. I didn't see him either.

"Um, we probably won't see him again," he said.

"Why?"

"I don't know, I guess he just felt bad about what happened," he said. He bit his lip and looked up at the sky. I yawned we were laying up there for hours. Dad came up around one and told us it was time to come inside. Matthew made me climb back through the window first, then he came through. Dad walked me back to my room. I got changed into a t-shirt and a pair of flannel pants. I got into bed and dad kissed me on the forehead.

"Night," he said to me.

"Night, dad," I said. He turned the lights off and then back on, he must've forgot that I didn't would get scared if I slept without the lights on. He closed the door and left. I fell asleep about twenty minutes later, dreamless.

I woke up and the sun was shining through my window onto carpet in my room. My lights were still on, I got up and walked down stairs, Matthew's door was still closed. I was the only one up yet, but me. I looked at the clock, it was only six in the morning. I walked back up to my room and closed the door, my light was still on. I grabbed my Gameboy from on top of my dresser, Mario was already in it and I didn't know where the rest of my games are. I laid back down on my bed, and played my game.

My room had clothes scattered all over the floor, there was a window that look out of the front of the house. The walls were white, the carpet was a dark blue. I laid there for about an hour playing my game when I finally heard someone walk down the hallway. I put my Gameboy on my nightstand and looked out into the hallway. Dad was walking down stairs, he was probably getting ready for work. He worked part time for a government contractor. I didn't really know what he did, his job was too complicated for me to know.

I walked down stairs after him he was already in the kitchen before he noticed me. He smiled at me but didn't say anything. He got me a bowl of Lucky Charms and I sat at the kitchen table and ate it. I picked out all of the marshmallows first.

"Dad, what happened to Mr. Mark?" I asked him. He ran his hand through his hair as if he didn't know what to say.

"Well," he said slowly, "after the accident he needed a new job to pay for the boat and he got a new job out of town and he needed to move so he could go work there."

I didn't say anything back. I just ate my cereal he went back upstairs after putting a cup of coffee on and got dressed then came back down poured himself a cup of coffee then left for work. After I was done eating I went over and turned on the T.V. I flipped through the channels until I found Nickelodeon, Spongebob was on.

Matthew came down stairs a couple hours later. He was wearing a white t-shirt and a pair of black sweatpants. He sees me through the door way into the living room. He sat next to me on the couch and yawned.

"Hey," he said wiping his eyes.

"Hi," I said quietly. I look back to the T.V. Patrick just got his license. I shifted on the couch and leaned into Matthew. "Dad said that Mr. Mark moved away to pay for the boat."

"Uh, yeah," he said. I felt him tense up when I mentioned Mr. Mark again. "Dad's right."

"I wish he would come back," I said, Matthew just nodded. We just sat there for about an hour. He went up stairs and changed then made himself breakfast. I sort of just watched T.V. all day until dad came home early. A little after noon. I was still in my pajamas.

"Hey, buddy," he said when he saw me sitting on the couch. "Go get dressed."

"Why?" I asked getting off the couch and stretching. He was wearing the same pollo and pair of jeans as this morning.

"We're going over to your cousin's house," he said. I walked out of the room, Matthew walked in after I left. I didn't hate going to my cousin's it just wasn't my favorite thing to do, I only had two cousins one lived in Florida the other one is live twenty-eight. I just got bored at her house. I went into my room and put on a pair of blue gym shorts and a white t-shirt. I could hear Matthew and dad talking from the top of the stairs.

"You cannot tell him," dad said. I started to move down the stairs, so they wouldn't hear me.

"He keeps asking, he's going to find out soon enough," Matthew argued back. I didn't know what they were fighting over. I was almost at the bottom of the stairs.

"Think about how upset he would be, that would just make things worst than they already are," dad said. Matthew was silent for a couple seconds. Then he replied.

"Then when should we tell him?" in Matthew's silence I walked down the foyer and was right outside the living room.

"I don't know. When he's ready. He's not ready to know that Mark died," dad said. This hit me hard. I slid down the wall outside the living room. I could feel tears running down my cheeks. I choked on a sob and started crying hard. That's when they found out I heard everything they were saying.

"Oh my god," I heard Matthew say.

"Dammit," I heard dad say under his breath. Matthew came out in the hallway and saw me sitting on the floor. He sat down next to me and hugged me. I hugged him back. Dad came out into the kitchen and squatted down held his arms out for me to hug him. He looked upset. I got up off the floor and walked over and hugged him. I cried into his shoulder. We didn't end up going to my cousins house. Matthew let me stay with him that night. I didn't want to leave him. I felt like he had trouble falling asleep with the lights on. I woke up the next day and they were off.