Two weeks go by and here I am, admiring Jonah's sleeping face in my bed. Time flies, it really does, and maybe that's a good thing. I won't have to focus on the mistakes I've made for too long.
I've stopped looking at my decision to be with Jonah a mistake (even though it's a really big one) and more of a blessing. I'm not a religious man, but damn can I praise this blond boy for days on end.
I lean down and kiss the top of Jonah's head, getting a quick whiff of his hair. It smells of overworking and rose petals, a weird mixture I've come to get used to.
Blondie shifts a little in his place then wakes up after contorting his face. He looks up to me and smiles tiredly, and I do the same.
"Good morning." I mumble. "Morning." He replies, having a brief moment to stare at me. I take this opportunity to drink him in too and breathe out contentedly, watching him close his eyes.
I turn in my spot, now laying on my back and staring ahead. "What an . . . Eventful few weeks this has been, no?" I ask softly, hearing Jonah twist beside me. "We met barely a month ago, yet here we are, having had sex about a million times."
I hear Jonah laugh, and I add a chuckle of my own. I love the early morning hours when me and Jonah are tired as hell and don't even sound like ourselves thanks to the night prior. Last night we were watching whatever movies were free on demand and we forced ourselves to watch every one to the end credits. Whoever got distracted first had to be the one to get up and refill our ice cream bowls. It was a very lazy night for us. An enjoyable one, too.
"I wouldn't exaggerate on that." Jonah comments, moving to lean against the headboard beside me.
"Why?" I finally glance at him, an eyebrow perked. "Does it not feel that way to you?"
"It does--even though we've only fucked twice the whole time we've known each other--but," there's a thoughtful pause, "I'm starting to think this, us, is a result of us not keeping our word. No strings attached, we repeatedly said, yet here we are . . . attached. What we didn't want.”
It goes quiet. Ah, thank you, Jonah, for reminding me of something I didn't want to be reminded of. My jaw clenches for a second, but I don't turn from him. I just nod slowly, licking my lips as I think silently about his words.
"Well, I mean . . . " I suddenly say, "Do . . . you want to be attached now?"
This pause is shorter than the previous one, but it still hits my nervousness right in the heart. I hate having to wait for answers when it comes to bone-shaking situations.
"Well, even if I didn't, I'd . . . still be falling for you." Jonah finally says.
My uncomfortable meter just shot up through the roof. Excuse me, "falling for you" what? I sit up straighter.
"Falling . . . as in love? Do you love me, Jonah?" My empty stomach rumbles with anxiety and I can feel my palms become sweaty. I lick my lips again and hold myself up by my arms.
"I . . . " Jonah can probably see the worry on my face. Oh, god. "I think I do." He says hesitantly. I can now sense his own worry.
I don't respond, though. My brain is too busy processing his confession to even pronounce a letter. I wipe my face with the back of my hand and clear my throat, finally tearing my eyes from Jonah's pretty face.
Love. Jonah loves me. Oh, god I really fucked up now. Love. Love is the last thing I wanted out of him. Love is the last thing either of us ever needed. Please don't love me. Don't love me. You're making a mistake, don't love me!
"I . . . " Jonah clears his own throat, throwing the blanket off of his legs and scooting out of bed. "I'll go. I'll be seeing you, right?"
I realize he's talking to me and nod the littlest of nods, scared enough that I can't look at him again. Instead I stare out of the window to my left.
I hear Jonah sigh and wiggle himself into his clothes as I bring my baggy T-shirt over my mouth, as if it would help me hide myself from him.
Just like that, I hear his heeled shoes click-clack out of my room and down the hall. The second I hear it I'm ready to jump out of bed and follow him, but I force myself to stay put.
Am I really ready to face him after what he just said? If I stop him I'll be putting my life on the line. Necksnapper will eventually find out and that'll be the end. I'll be killed and left in a ditch. I can't possibly go after Jonah and risk my life for love.
. . .
I go after Jonah.
I throw the sheets off of me and speed out of my room barefoot, having no time to throw a jacket on. I can't let Jonah get away.
At the top of the staircase I see the front door being closed. No time for walking. I hop on the stair-railing and slide down to the end, nearly falling as I jump off.
I'm just in time to see Jonah approaching his car, fiddling with his car keys in one hand.
"I LOVE YOU!" I shout into the morning air, my voice echoing beyond miles. I catch my breath as I watch Jonah turn in his spot, meeting my eye. I feel my heart wheeze and my face flush red, but I couldn't care less anymore. It's like Jonah's the only reason I'm functioning, and goddammit is that bad.
"You do?" He replies, straightening his posture and stuffing both hands into his jacket pockets.
"I do." I say as seriously as I can, finally regaining composure.
Jonah walks up my porch to me, smiling gently.
"Prove it." He whispers, and I look at him in disbelief.
"You fucking asshole." I manage, my eyebrows furrowing. This little bitch--
"You know what?" He chuckles. "Can you repeat what you said? I don't think I heard you right the first time."
I hesitate, rolling my lips into my mouth. "No." I finally say. "I don't repeat myself."
"What was that?"
"I said I don't--" I catch my tongue, my eyes widening. Jonah starts to cackle. "You motherfucker." I seethe. "Sleep outside."
I turn around and walk into the house, Jonah quickly following as I mumble curses about him.
YOU ARE READING
No Strings Attached | ✔
Non-Fiction"I LOVE YOU!" I shout into the morning air, my voice echoing beyond miles. I catch my breath as I watch Jonah turn in his spot, meeting my eye. I feel my heart wheeze and my face flush red, but I couldn't care less anymore. It's like Jonah's the onl...
