Musings under the twilight sky

A fond adieu

" (As the hues of light drape the gorgeous twilight moon);

(The acquainted faces touch familiar hands);

(The lingering slumber surrounds me with the songs of the past);

( Those few nights call me, keep holding me back).

(We promised to walk the shaded alleys together)....''

So this is goodbye..

You are now long gone ..

And I guess it has been pointless to try and hold on. .

It had already been ages since I got to see you... All of you.. Just you..

But the tiny glimpses of you that continued to shine through,  once in a while,  had been suffice to make my soul break into a happy home-call.. to not voice out the obvious..to hope..

The power you held over me was staggering, potent and liberating.

Like the comfort and sense of security that a mother's hug instills in one after a long, hard day.

You were all that and much more..

Masculine. Determined. Yet so soft and kind.

You will always remain an enigma that I'll be content to let be.. for some puzzles are too enchanting to ever come to an end, the finality of it robbing away the true beauty.. I prefer to dwell in the excitement and hope that the mystery evokes.

Although, I cannot but still remain in awe of you.

Probably that's the power of any true emotion- love and all the associated feelings it entails.

Probably it's just us.

Probably it's just me.

Like all things in your memory, I'll let it remain unsolved as an infinite Gaussian normal curve that is limitless.

I would like to think you liked that side of me. The quirky nerd who never missed an opportunity to intervene. Understood that I never did so to show off.

In more ways than one, you always had the upper hand.

You knew all of me, inside out, predicting my every thought and move. Always catching me in surprise and rendering all my microglia to mush before I could even process a good counter or decipher the functioning of your grey matter.

Not that I hate the other sides of your personality or what they mean to me- the best friend, the colleague at work, the supreme-advisor-on-all-things-taxonomical or the fellow warrior in not-so-shining-armour.  Now would be a good time to get to know them better.

You stood apart.  Always.  In more ways than one. Like the fire rainbow in the late summer sky. Unique. Colorful. Humbling and unreal.

I had a lot of time to reflect upon your absence. Had seen it coming in a lot of ways. I am not scornful of it nor do I blame you for it. Though it did feel wrong at first, standing amidst the hues of the colorful summer twilight sky, many of which have been a witness to our shared moments, it somehow feels right.

I won't say the it's not hard to let go, the sunsets still don't seem as enchanting, don't hold the same joy and brilliance.

I miss the way the rays of the setting sun and the moon shadows would reflect on your face. The innocence of your heart gleaming past the masculine contours of face.

The way you broke down all my walls and understood the real me. Accepted how different I was and respected my individuality. You made me notice so many things about myself. Helped mold me into a stronger woman, who's unafraid and proud.