The Funeral Style

Chapter Forty-Four

Chapter Forty-Four

"I can't believe you are buddies with the Scott family." Maggie said, as we both were walking down the main street in town. It was busy with people shopping and talking to one another. I had forgotten just how much I missed being around normal people, and not millionaires with insufferable egos. 

"Really," I said for what seemed like the hundredth time, "They aren't as great as everyone makes them out to be." I turned to her, "Also, I'm not buddies with them."

"Is he hot?"

"Is who hot?"

Maggie rolled her eyes, "The man on the moon, who the hell do you think I'm talking about? Ezra. Freaking. Scott."

"Oh." I pondered, "I mean, yeah, he's attractive, but his attitude is rather nasty."

"Nasty huh?" She nudged me with her elbow, "I'd take a nasty Ezra Scott any day of the week."

I shot her a look, "You really need a boyfriend."

"Speaking of needs." A devilish smirk grew on her lips like an intolerable disease, "How was the honeymoon?"

"I already told you-"

"No, not the trip, how was the honeymoon."

I groaned, and turned into a small charity book shop, one that I used to come to almost every week when I was in school. That feels like centuries ago. "I do not want to talk about that."

She wrapped her arm around my shoulders, "Come on. You slept with quite possibly the weirdest man I have ever met. I want to know if he's as weird in bed as he is burying corpses."

"Oh my god Maggie, you're going to make me throw up."

She laughed, "The weird ones are always the best in bed."

"Then you must be a god." I say mockingly, to which she took as a genuine compliment.

"Of course I am." She said, whisking her hair over her shoulder, "I mean I've never really done it, but I fantasize about it a lot, and I don't imagine myself bad at it."

"You really need a boyfriend." I said again, as I picked up a random book off the first shelf that I saw, in hopes that it would shut her up.

It didn't. "Your honeymoon was weeks ago, I'm sorry that I only now get to ask you about it." She pouted, "I mean, what do you do all day at that damn cemetery that is so important that you can't even call me for five minutes?"

"Elias doesn't like cellphones at the cemetery, he says they're too 'contemporary and appallingly communal', his words, not mine."

Maggie huffed, "Let me guess, he's one of those anti-technology chumps too?" She patted my shoulder sympathetically, "You poor, poor thing. Marrying a complete lunatic."

"He's not anti-technology." I defend him, not really sure why since she's kind of right. "He just has specific preferences."

"Yeah? That's what all men say to let women down easy." She inched her face near mine and whispered, "It's a lie, he just isn't into you."

I pull away, "What are you even talking about? You're making no sense at all."

"I'm just trying to open your eyes!" She argued, "Your husband is keeping you away from me, and I'm angry about it."

I bit back a grin, "Are you jealous?"

"Of course I'm jealous! My queen bee has been stolen from me by the wasp king."

She had a point, though she claimed it in a ridiculous and childish way, she was absolutely right. I needed to make more time for her, and for my social life.