My boring life

I NEED TO RANT

Ok so hello umm ok so I'm just gonna start....

Have you ever feel that no one ever likes you? Like you have been just been used for ppls benefits?

Never??? Not once?

Well I am right now

Ok so it had started probably 3 week ago. So I was chatting with a peer from my class and he just got a new account. So I was chatting with him for a math project we were gonna do so he first started with just like a "hey" "what's up" type of conversation. And I'm one of the smartest person in my class for math. I think that day they gave hw and some one already had asked me for help. So I was like what do you need assuming he needed help with hw. He was like "oh no I don't need help I'm not one of those type of ppl......"-_-. So idk but i got really emotional for a sec and started to cry. I realized that my whole life I was being "used". I say "used" because almost everyone asked me to do stuff to pass the activity and stuff. (For math and English mostly). I say almost because not all of them. My friends from the U.S are not. I'm talking my  so called "friends" that I have here. I realized that I have like 2 friends here that don't need much of me and I'm really grateful for that. But most of the class usually does this and I can't even. I feel like no one cares for me just my actual og friends. Also very recently I have changed my attitude a LOT and I really wanna change it back but I have to to defend my self and for people to understand that I don't want to be "used" as their cheat sheet. I started to get more aggressive and I don't like to be like this. And for ppl who know me know that I don't like being rude. The only time I would be rude is when ppl tell me what to do and how to act towards someone. To people who also know me also know that I am very VERY sensitive with my emotions even though I might not show it. Right now I'm crying and tearing up. I've haven't been able to sleep early and I wake up with stress. Most mornings i don't eat because i can't. I feel like I don't want to. And if I eat I have like this horrible feeling in my gut. I also have mini panic attacks in the mornings. I can't breathe normally I want to cry for no reason and yea. You might be thinking why would I care. Well you don't have to care just go somewhere else I guess. I just need a place to rant and to feel a bit better.

That's all ok bye.