Those Who Would Not Be Gods

25. Conflict: Raff

For the last time, he woke up in the dorms. Raff blinked around the small room. It looked so empty. He'd packed up all his belongings but the essentials, and the room he was left with had white walls, two bunks, and a pair of small desks wedged in the corner. It could have been anyone's room. It could have been a room anywhere.

By the time Diego rang the bell to wake everyone, he was stuffing his nightclothes into his bag, the last of his kit. It was amazing how everything folded up so small. When he fastened the bag shut, the empty space made the top cave in. Everything he owned in one bag. It was a sobering thing to look at. This, at last, was proof that he was leaving. The end of this life, and the start of something else. What, he didn't yet know.

Suddenly, he wasn't excited for the crusades, not even a little bit. I don't want to leave, he realized, staring at that little bag. It wasn't the Schola he was attached to, or even Castelfiamma, but Sab, and Giada, and Milo, and even, somehow, Pasquale. Everyone he knew was leaving, and he'd be all on his own.

Again.

The cold pressed in on him from all sides. Raff shivered and resisted the urge to summon a flame. It was fine. It would be fine. It was spring, not winter, and everything was warm. He could always send them letters. They could meet up. They weren't going to leave him behind and forget about him.

Sab's hand settled on his shoulder, and he was back in the moment, almost sweating in his nicest dress uniform. With a deft motion, Sab spun him around and did his collar button, the same way he always did.

"Ready?" he asked.

Raff nodded, breathing out. "Ready," he confirmed. He stood, then hesitated at the sight of the pack on the floor. Take it? No. He'd be back for it after the ceremony. It wasn't time to go yet. He still had a little more time.

One last time, they marched across the street to the Shrine. It was still dark, the day not yet dawned. Two groups peeled off, a larger group heading for the outside, while the smaller group headed inside. Raff settled at his post outside and prepared to wait. Giada tossed him a surreptitious little wave as she marched past, and he tipped his head in response.

She was one of the lucky ones. Most of the new graduates were stuck outside the wall, same as Raff. He snorted to himself as the older Shrineguards marched in a few minutes later, all of them vanishing into the Shrine. Looks like the veterans snagged all the good spots inside, huh?

Several hours passed before the first of the priests arrived. Raff yawned and resisted the urge to rub his eyes. At first they trickled in, but the trickle quickly became a pour as the sun rose. Priests and commoners mingled, chatting around the doors. It became a battle not to blink himself to sleep. Do they really need this many guards? he wondered. They were posted every ten or so feet around the building, close enough he couldn't even shift without the guard to his left and right giving him the stink eye. What was he even here for? Those men from the tunnels were dead. There wasn't any real threat to Cecile or the Godstone anymore. There could always be more men like those, but really, he and the others were just decorations, weren't they?

The crowds petered out. Bells rang out, calling the last of the stragglers inside. Raff took the moment of an empty street to yawn, at last. Another lazy morning. Might as well enjoy his last day in Castelfiamma. Now that he was outside, not seeing the ceremony, he felt vague disappointment that he couldn't see it. Even if he was a little bitter about the whole thing, High Priests didn't ascend every day. He might never get a chance like this again.

"Pigs!" a man shouted.

Raff cut his eyes in the man's direction, curious where the pigs were, but found no animals. Instead, the man stood alone, glaring fiercely at the guards. "Locusts!" he continued, incensed. "Thieves! Steal our bread from our mouths, then throw parties while we starve?"