ephemeral. » doubleb

3 |

the moon glimmers against jiwon's face and a cool breeze hugging his skin woke him. he forgot he left his windows open.

he pressed the home button of his phone and it's only 2am. he lazily got up from his soft bed and walks to close his windows.

he didn't realize he was shirtless until he shivered from cold. "damn it, it's cold." i wish hanbin's here.

wait, what?

he shook his head and jumped over his bed. he started scrolling through his instagram just to see hanbin's new post about jung jaewon, his boyfriend.

bobby felt his heart snapped. it's just a crush, jiwon. get over it.

he pressed the heart button on hanbin's post.

wait, wouldn't he think it's just weird that i'm liking his post at this hour?

nah. maybe not, he's probably asleep.

on the other side of the walls and streets, hanbin is busy writing songs again.

it's how he relieves stress and frustration. he's deeply hurt but couldn't do anything about it. at times like this, his notebooks are his best company. they tend to lessen his frustration.

he looks up and stares blankly at his dark ceiling. he sees his heart on it.

he's scared. that maybe, just maybe jaewon is slowly losing his interest on him.

a tear suddenly escaped from his eyes. damn. i shouldn't be asserting things like this. i'm just hurting myself.

...but he's nothing compared to people around jaewon. those who treasures him more than he does. he knows he's not enough for jaewon.

but it just hurts down inside that he's already giving up to his thoughts.

he's not stupid to not feel that jaewon is being dull and lumpish towards him. he cares and talk less.

no. maybe, i should understand him more. he has upcoming performances with his band. maybe that's the reason our plans are obfuscated. i should wait.

he sighed hearing, judging his own thoughts. he knows half of things he could think are possible and might probably already happening.

he's just self-denying.

but what should he do? he loves him and couldn't think of anyone more worth loving than jaewon. he completes him.

3 days have passed. and hanbin really didn't receive a birthday greeting from jaewon. hanbin still understands. it might be his band practices.

hanbin smiled and clapped once theband finished their last song practice.

"darn raesung, fix your plucking skills. it almost ruined the atmosphere." jaewon warned and raesung just nodded and slowly detaches his guitar from its stand.

"hey, calm down. you should drink first." hanbin handed a bottle of water and his eyes gotten bigger, his body froze when jaewon swatted it away causing the water to spill on the ground. the silences hid hanbin's heart breaking.

"i told you to go home early whenever i have practice, bin. the performance on saturday is important to me."

hanbin bit his inner cheek. damn, his eyes are watery.

"junhoe, wait." bobby stops junhoe from walking causing him to stumbled a little, choked from his own drink.

"man, what the eff?" junhoe's forehead was wrinkled in annoyance.

"that's hanbin, right?"

"yea. what about him?" junhoe vapidly asked. he doesn't care. his mind was flying somewhere over a subway sandwich and some milk shakes. he's hungry.

"is he crying? what the hell." junhoe watched bobby talked to his own and follows what he's looking at.

"so what? t'was just a lover's quarrel, man. let's go because if we don't, it's my rumbling stomach who you're going to against with." junhoe warned, wrapping his arm around bobby's neck.

bobby elbowed him in response. he stares at hanbin who keeps on biting his lips, staring at his own feet.

why do i care? what's there to show such damn care?

maybe this dumb junhoe is right. might be a lover's quarrel.

"fuck you and your monster tummy, juneya."

"dude, we're straight. what you sayin'?"

"eat alone, bummy."