ephemeral. » doubleb

10 |

"hanbinnie... are you doing alright, peach?" jinhwan slowly moves closer to the younger under the cold duvet, wrapping his arms around the younger, making sure he's indirectly telling him he loves him.

hanbin replied in hum and nuzzled at the crook of jinhwan's neck. "i'll move on, hyung. i'm fine, thank you for staying with me." he whispered and felt his cheek being caressed. if he isn't friends with jinhwan, he'll date him. i mean, how he takes care of him is unmatched. having him beside them is truly a blessing.

"i'm thankful to have you, hyung." he whispered again, but this time a tear decided to roll down his cheek. he's restraining himself to cry but guess, he couldn't. he was balling onto jinhwan's sweater and the older pulled him closer and started rubbing his back.

"i love you, sweets." he heard jinhwan mumbled. he sobbed harder, crying everything out and expecting that everything will be alright later when he stops. he was too hurt that he thinks he might hurt himself if jinhwan's presence is absent.

he's scared. to be left alone and be abandoned although he knows jinhwan won't let him feel that. he feels the most comforted now that jinhwan was rubbing his back gently, kissing the top of his head, and reminding him that everything is going to be alright. if he needs time, he can. it would take a while to heal and he should just let it and soon, he'll be completely healed.

whenever silence starts kicking in, everything seems going back. it's all having a flashback in his head and it never fails to hurt him, thinking that everything is fake, including those emotions. that sucks. it's terrible that he's too in love that he didn't even notice, or perhaps decides to ignore them.

he'll move on. that's a promise he made to himself. 

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

his eyes caught a man quietly sitting and lazily browsing through his cellphone as soon as he entered his calculus class. he got a cherry piercing on his left eyebrow that he found cool. how he wish he could get some, too. it's one of the things written on his bucket list.

"you must be bobby." he said as he put down his things on the floor and sits beside the man he thinks is bobby. he saw the other panic, blinking non-stop and dazed when he looks back at the smiling hanbin.

jiwon nibbles on his lip knowing he's nervous as fuck now that hanbin is physically talking at him. "i-i guess, i am?" he stuttered and he almost mentally slapped himself when he did.

"you guess?" hanbin laughs though he suddenly got confused. what was really the answer?

"i mean, i am." jiwon smiled nervously and hanbin shrugged his shoulder after he nodded his head to agree.

jiwon almost gay panicked and screamed the hell out of his lungs when hanbin suddenly moved closer at him, inches apart from his face, looking at the direction of the whiteboard in front of them. "thank you again."

jiwon unconsciously clasped on his chest, what the fuck bro stop being so gay. he mumbled mentally on himself. he thinks it was really a bad timing that junhoe wasn't here right now because no one will save his gay ass. or is it really?

he tried to breathe into his nose to stable himself before responding to hanbin. "sure, sure. no probbie." he mentioned and proceeding to bite his inner lower cheek after.

the class started and he couldn't bring himself to focus. he was watching hanbin who is now intently listening and writing on the little notebook he has with him with his peripheral vision. he has a lot of questions for the younger in his mind and he knows he's not in the right place to ask.

he was gently tapping on his desk, mindful not to disturb the concentrated other. he was being nervous because he was going to ask him something he doesn't know if he will receive a response.

he wondered if hanbin was aware that he threw up at him or hugged him at his car, thinking he was jinhwan. he knew he didn't but he somehow wished he did.

his heart experienced a race whenever their elbows bumped with each other and ended it with soft "sorry's" and "okay's". the space between them felt so little that jiwon thinks he could even hear hanbin's breathing.

"class dismissed." he heard his prof asserted. one hour has passed already and he didn't even notice it. his mind was wandering in the world he just created.

"uhh, hanbin." he mumbled and hanbin looked down at him. he was so ready to walk out of the classroom when jiwon called upon his name. instead, he smiled and responded. "yes?"

"nothing." jiwon quickly muttered. he was so nervous he wanted to pinch himself as hard as he could right now. hanbin chuckled and asked again. "you sure, bobby?" jiwon had his eyes slightly widened at the call.

"can i even call you that?" hanbin interrogated, unsure if he did a right thing. he doesn't know if bobby was uncomfortable with it or what.

"of course! by the way, do you wanna eat lunch with me?" damn, jiwon took every courage he could pick up to ask him this, fingers are visibly shaking that he hid it behind him. he was reading hanbin's face. he sure was shocked and confused as to why would his classmate ask him to have a lunch with him. understandable.

"but if you don't want, it's fine.."

"who said? of course. let's go? you know a place?" hanbin gave him a smile indicating assurance. maybe this could be a fresh start for him, meeting new people, knowing new people. and he is extremely pleased it came soon.

"there's a new ramen house near our university, want to try it out together?" jiwon let out a chuckle to lighten the atmosphere. he was rubbing his palm together to ease the nervousness he's feeling. he's actually talking to hanbin now? and he's adorable as fuck.

hanbin's eyes glistened at the familiar word. he was actually craving for it now and jiwon just came with the right timing. "ooh ramen. let's go please. thinking of it makes me hungry now." he rubbed his belly and they both laughed when they heard a stomach grumbled.

"i see what you're talking about." hanbin got so shy he covered his face with both of his palms. jiwon couldn't help but mumbled "cute" under his breath. he blinked once he realized what he just did and breathed when hanbin didn't seem to hear it.

"let's go? i heard people liking it on the internet. there must be lots of people right now planning to eat there." jiwon reminded and hanbin immediately nodded, bringing his bag closer to his body.

jiwon felt he was on a cloud 9 seeing hanbin smile. he smiles so beautifully jiwon can't think properly right now. he only wants to make hanbin happy. and that's all. 

hanbin shines the most when he smiles and he wishes that he continue to be like that. by himself or with jiwon. if the universe allows.

[a;n fuck jaewon ,, lets get this shit started]