Crazy one-shots

Cringe, oh shit.

Bob the builder was hacking and slashing at some concrete like any other day.

When something out of the corner of his eye moved suddenly. He paid it no mind at first, but when the thing eventually appeared to have HUGE badonkadonks he just had to to look. Soon all of his looking had gotten the things attention and he realized it had also been watching him, with a giant sly grin. He realized, it was.....HATSUNE MIKU.

"My how intimidatingly lovely you look." the builder said as he lowered his shameful eyes to the ground.

"And what a price you must pay Bobathaineil the III." Miku hissed with sweet poison, her hand reaching between her boobs.

The now scared half to death of a man named bob started to nervously chuckle

"What have you say in your defense Bobanthaniel. We saw all the evidence. Karen wasn't cleaned up very neatly you know."

Bob cried. "You don't understand! She took the fucking kids!" He then dropped down to his knees as he sang the my little pony anthem to atone for his perverted sins.

Miku moaned in delight at the despair of this mere mortal. Foolish and absolutely naive. She cocked the gun in an impossible but logically anime way.

Not long after the gun fired as bob screamed for help, then all of a sudden miku's worst foe came and stopped the bullet, this foe was known as....

J a c o b S a r t o r i u s.

"Haha you can use my sweatshirt anytime bob" jacob said as he popped the bullet out of the unfazed sweatshirt.

"J A C O B S A R T O R I U S. H O W D A R E Y O U S H O W Y O U R F A C E." Miku screeched inhumanely. Her jaw cracking and unhinging in absolute rage as her eyes grew sharp and dark.

"I also brought Mr. Piano cat to sooth mrs bitchy over there." Jacob said as he motioned to Miku and then pulled out a cat with a keyboard.

'N O. D O N ' T Y O U D A R E J A C O B." The unwoman howled as her limbs stretched like a spider's. Her monstrous jaw torn open to a snarl. She lunged at him on all fours.

Jacob then had a sly smile as he turned on the piano, and the cat began to play. Also soothing the poop emoji riden bob the builder, who had poop all over himself, from fear.

Despite the terrifying speed that the creature hurled itself at him, Jacob leaped animely out of the way and manifested a blazing sword of holiness and slashed at the thin beast.

"BEGONE THOT!"

"NOOOOOOO, YOUR FAN BASE IS TOO POWERFUL!!!" was the last few words from the beast until it vanquished in a blaze of girly screams.

The embers finally withered to ash as the sun melted the sky in a orange and red allure. The demigod turned to the astonished builder.

"If she breathes." He started.

"Then smear your poop on her, she hates it. Also she's highly allergic to cartoons so even a tool from you show would work just fine." he then majestically leaped into the air and disappeared.

T h e E n d.