Cobalt Crown - Book One

15 Whirlwind

     Kyrael had woken up that morning with a stone on her heart. She was expected to be at the Fable House by noon, so by the time she had gotten up. Iain and her mother had already gone. He had been much better since receiving proper treatment. The house was still and quiet. She didn't check on her plants. Everything was just... there. Present. Nothing she could see had any meaning to her anymore.

     It was early afternoon, and the streets were mildly populated with people going about their days. She recognized most of them, given the size of Kinsweyr, but there was no reason to talk to any of them. She just kept thinking of her father. Of the day she was broken in half, and the subsequent descent that dissolved the rest of her. She was nothing. It wasn't worth it.

     Nobody ever locked the doors to the clock tower. There was never any need to. Its steps were well built. And the mechanisms that ran the subtle ticking were large and loud. She realized that she had never bothered to take the steps up to the top. She and Iain had always climbed the rough walls. It was easier to them. The shape of the clock tower had lent itself to climbing, as there were multiple tiers to its height. They had always climbed up to the second tier as kids. They had only ever climbed up to the top on one occasion. It was too scary for them, so they never did it again. But there, Kyrael found herself staring at the second tier window, with a roof on the other side. She passed it by.

     The third tier was the last tier that had a climbable roof. Beyond it was the last part of the tower, which was a sheer spire with a balcony that ran around the whole perimeter of the tower. Four clock faces looked out in the cardinal directions, and Kyrael could see their interior mechanisms from where she stood. Still, she went higher.

     The very top of the inside of the tower had four doors, each one above one of the clock faces. The south, west, and east faces all had tiers below them. But the north door was a sheer drop.

     She opened the north door.

     A whirlwind took hold of her, and almost knocked her off her feet. She could feel her heart racing. She could feel the tears in her eyes that refused to fall. Her father's memory held no more of them. She walked out onto the balcony, thinking about everything. The shop. Her future. Mr. Dorun. Her mother and brother. The knights that had repeatedly told her to stay away. And how everything she wanted to do was so distant from her. So impossible. It wasn't worth it.

     She never even felt herself climbing up over the balcony. She was simply done with everything. Done with feeling down. Done with feeling. And it was done. She turned in mid-air to look up at the sky. To her it was an ever-present infinite reminder that there was so much more to the world than what we could touch. So much that she would never experience. So much that was gone. The air rushed passed her. And then her pain ended.