11:11

3 | buzzcutseason

Song of the chapter ⏤ Buzzcut Season by Lorde

I remember when your head caught flame
It kissed your scalp and caressed your brain
(I remember when your head caught flame)
Well, you laughed, baby, it's OK
It's buzzcut season anyway

Question of the chapter : how old are you?

[ I don't want someone to fix me. I want someone to love me just like that- broken. I want someone to tell me it's okay.. not to be okay.]

▬ chapter 3 ▬

"You can't wear that" Sara says as she enters my room, where I'm standing only in my lace undies getting ready to put the dress on. The dress is hanging on the closet door and Sara is staring at it like she wants to make it disappear.
"Why not?" I say turning around to look at her.
"Uhm- because it's a family gathering" she huffs "Ria, you can't just wear everyday outfits everywhere."
"Actually I can"
"No, you can't"
"Can you not? It's enough that I'm actually going." I say as I sit on my bed. "I'm not really feeling like being around people, especially them, today."

"Well, maybe drinking all day yesterday was a bad idea"

"Stop acting like you are my mom" I say then I laugh "No, actually you are acting the opposite of her, she would probably just not give a fuck even if I was dying"

"Stop, god" she says as she comes and sits next to me on the bed "She isn't she softest person, yeah, but she isn't this horrible person you make her to be. She is your mother."
"Sara, don't. We have had this conversation multiple times. You and Kevin have to stop being team Cruella De Vil. You are supposed to be on my side."
"There are no sides, Ria. This isn't a battle and she isn't against you."
"You can't say that. You literally can't say that. After everything she did."
"You know she only wants the best for you-"
"Stop. I don't want to have this conversation. Not when I have a major hangover and have to be around dozens of people in two hours."
"Fine. But you aren't wearing that dress." she huffs, getting up and opening my closet. "And stop acting like tonight is all horrible. You will get to meet your siblings."

"Yeah, that's one good thing in 100 bad things."  I say trying to stop the smile that comes out when I think of my siblings- well some of them.

We are quite the family. My mom got pregnant when she was 18, before she even got to college. We are 5 siblings. Growing up it was as messy as you can imagine. Harry is the oldest one, 28. He has his own small restaurant and decided to not join the family business because he and his wife, Laura, wanted to open their own restaurant. Now they are expecting a boy and it is all happiness in paradise. Elizabeth and dad however, weren't the happiest that Harry decided to settle for that simple life. They always thought he would be the one to take over the business.

Then it's Daya, 25. She is literally the perfect daughter. While I liked ripped jeans and playing Counter Strike growing up, Daya was everything Elizabeth wanted in a daughter. She wears dresses, smiles at everyone and knows how to hold a conversation in events Elizabeth hosts.

Then there's me, 23. The middle child, and definitely my Elizabeth's least favorite child. You could say I disappointed her, because she never hesitated to point it out.

"Honoria, stop playing those video games. Stop wasting your time.", "Look at Daya's dress, it's so pretty. What on earth are you wearing?", "Honoria, for once in your life stop being a disappointment."

And then my mother gave birth to twins, at the age of 40. Yeah, imagine how I felt to having two babies around. My mother's latest pregnancy shocked us all, she was 40 after all and it wasn't like they wanted more children- twins at that. But, they are definitely the only reason why our family is still together despite our differences. Josephine and Joan, are 6 years old and they are the messiest children you could ever meet. They are always causing trouble. But I love those two idiots beyond words.
That is my family. Messy as hell.