A Hard Day's Night

Chapter 4

The high school parking lot was full of cars and people in costumes on their way to the haunted house.

“Isn’t this great?” Diane remarked. Student Council was one of the many school organizations Diane took part in. She was just the insider we needed to pull this off.

We got out of Tracy’s car and waited for the other members to arrive.

“Well, well, well . . .” a voice called out from a few cars away. “Let me guess, you’re dressed up as . . . a lesbian?”

I didn’t need to turn around to know that it was Todd.

“Wait, no,” he recanted. “A mechanic . . . who’s also a lesbian.”

Todd believed that every girl in the Club had to be a lesbian because he couldn’t fathom why any girl would choose to be single when he was available. It was honestly shocking that he hadn’t turned any of us off to the male species altogether.

 “Wow, Todd,” I said with forced sweetness, “how original. I see you dressed up as an imbecile.”

He scoffed and gestured down to his Chicago Bears sweatshirt and jeans. “I don’t have a costume on.”

“Exactly.”

He furrowed his eyebrows trying to figure out what I must’ve meant, but quickly gave up and went back to talking to his standard group: Brian and Don, with their respective girlfriends, Pam and Audrey. The word “respective” was only in reference to which girl dated which guy, since, by their outfits, there was absolutely no respect going on. Pam was dressed as a referee in black hot pants and a black-and-white shirt

that was buttoned so far down you could see her black bra. I wasn’t entirely sure what Audrey was dressed as, since she had cropped jean shorts and a red-and-black plaid shirt tied up so her midriff was exposed. And it’s the end of October. In Illinois.

Stay classy, ladies.

“Let’s wait inside,” Diane suggested as we made our way past the cars.

“I wouldn’t bother,” Todd called out. “It’s lame.”

Tracy kept walking, but Diane stopped short for a second. As with everything she did, Diane put in a lot of work designing and decorating the haunted house. She spent hours all week after school and was only able to meet us for dinner that night because she needed a break.

I turned back around and approached Todd, who was sitting on the bumper of his truck.

“You know, Todd” — I crossed my arms — “while I normally would take your word for it since you’re an expert in all things lame, I —” I became distracted by something sticking out of the bed of Todd’s truck: a baseball bat that had pumpkin

seeds stuck to it. I grabbed it to examine it closer.

“Hey!” Todd jumped up and reached his hand out. “That’s mine!”

“Funny,” I said as I began to twirl the bat around, “I think something just like this bashed in the pumpkins at my house.”

There was snickering from the peanut gallery (aka Todd’s “friends”). I maneuvered around Todd to face them all. They started to spread out.

“Come on, guys,” Don said with a smirk on his face. “What is she going to do with a bat? Seriously?”

“What?” I taunted him by pretending to line up for a pitch. “You don’t think I know how to use this thing?”

“Yeah, right,” Todd scoffed. He held his hands up and pretended to quiver. “I’m so scared of a girl.”

They all began to laugh as I moved to the front of Todd’s truck. The headlights were illuminating my profile as I bent my knees and starting taking small practice swings. “You know, Todd, you should never underestimate a girl, especially one who grew up in a household where her dad didn’t have any sons to play baseball with.”

In truth, my father wasn’t really into sports. Unless marathon viewing of Beatles movies counted as a sporting event. But Todd didn’t know that (among many, many other things).

I moved nearer to Todd’s headlight and swung the bat closer and closer.

“Come on, Penny, we were just fooling around,” he said, desperation seeping into his voice.

“Gee, that’s exactly what I’m doing.” I planted my feet, held the bat above my shoulders, and shifted my weight as I swung the baseball bat hard toward Todd’s right headlight.

“No!” Todd shrieked, his voice high.

I stopped the bat mere centimeters away from the light, and then let it drop to the pavement. “I guess the difference between us is that when I fool around, I don’t hurt anybody or their property. Let’s go, guys.”

Tracy, Diane, and I walked away from a distraught Todd and headed inside the school.

One down, four to go.

                                                                         ❤❤❤

“Hey, Ryan!” Diane greeted her ex-boyfriend, who was manning the ticket counter. I was still amazed at how they’d been able to remain friends after they broke up. They both genuinely wished the other well.

The only thing I hoped for Nate Taylor was a slow and painful death.

“What up, Bauer?” Tracy gave him a small nod. “Are you dressed up as a monk?”

Ryan wore a cream-colored long-sleeve tunic and pants. He reached down and pulled out a lightsaber. “Luke Skywalker. Katie wanted to be Princess Leia — complete with the side buns.” He smiled broadly and I had to look away. “It was pretty adorable.” Katie was Ryan’s eight-year-old stepsister. It was pretty adorable.

Of course, I couldn’t have said any of that. Things with Ryan and me were . . . tense. We went on a something or other on Thursday. It wasn’t a date, since I wasn’t allowed to go on a date, but I’ve been uncomfortable around him ever since. Instead

of responding, I decided to pretend to be interested in all the costumes that passed us.

Fortunately, the other members started trickling in after successfully completing their given tasks. I took a few steps away from Hilary and her moving duffel bag. Amy was the last to arrive, her face in zombie makeup, the rest of her outfit slightly disheveled.

“Ready?” Diane asked us.

“Um, is there something I should know?” Ryan asked warily.

“Nothing you need to worry about,” Diane explained. “We’ve got something to sort out. Actually, we could use your help with one thing.” Diane leaned down and whispered into Ryan’s ear. I was waiting for him to protest, but he wrote down his instructions and gave Diane a resolute nod.

And with that we were off.

There were four young punks in need of a lesson on how to treat a lady.