kingdom come.

' the day before . .

  blood poured from his mouth, his eyes becoming more glassy by the second. the sound he made was gargled, blood blocking his throat. the man was dying, he knew it, and so did everyone else.

  the shadows from the night sky grew more : they were bigger, darker, and one of the most inhuman things he has ever seen yet. their eyes glowed a crimson red as they devoured him. all he could hear were screams, blood-curdling screams, as he sat in the darkness.

  jeongguk couldn't breathe and he tried to get air, but all he saw was his mother being taken away from him, and his father being the one to kill her. dark images surrounded him : he felt suffocated and all of a sudden, he was crying. crying tears that seemed too little for him.

  he was wearing the same clothing the day his mother had died. the same clothing he had fit when he was 8 years of age.

  jeongguk looked up and was surrounded by his old house, before everything went up in flames, and when he was still happy with being alive. his heart felt heavy and he grasped at his chest, in tears once more, and as soon as he looked up he saw everything over and over again. the blood spilling from his mother's body as she was shot. his father looking at him and threatening to kill him, too.

  a gun appeared in his hand and a bullet was shot from it, hitting his own father in the head.

  all of these unknown, foreign emotions filled jeongguk. he was angry at himself for being so careless. his fingers traced the design of the gun as his eyes avoided both of their bodies, a small gleam of regret in his eyes. his legs were scraped, his arms had bruises, and his forehead cut.

  ' i'm sorry. ' his words were barely above a whisper, the gun he held in his hands dropped. he wanted to cry and feel anything except disgusted with himself. his nails dug into his palms.

  and he woke up, sweating, and tears already falling from his eyes. ' fuck, not again. '

  he was already used to it, however. for the past 15 years he had grown used to it, so why was he saying this now? the nightmare always haunted him, whether he liked it to or not, and on average . . he usually slept 4 hours a night. jeongguk scoffed at himself and threw his blankets to the side of his bed, looking outside of the window.

  it was still dark. everyone working for him would be asleep right now, but he needed water, anything to distract him from falling down that hole again.

  jeongguk dragged himself out of his bed and opened his door, already used to this. everyday he had waken up in the middle of the night to get something to drink, something to take his mind off of his past, something to get rid of the memories he had tried so hard burying down deep.

  in fact, his maids already left water out and cake for him on the kitchen counter.

  he couldn't help but feel a bit relieved at that. they cared for him, despite how cruel he was to everyone else. although, he had to be, right? his red eyes scanned everything else.

  later on in the day he was going to marry someone for peace. not for love, since he didn't really know what that felt like, and if he was being honest with himself . . he wanted to marry someone to help him with these thoughts.

  he wanted to have a family. he wanted to be a good person and live the rest of his life knowing he had done something worth his father's murder.

  jeongguk, however, rolled his eyes and laughed a dry laugh. he was living in a world where everyone was against him. he was forcing another woman to marry him, he wasn't a good person. hell, he even threatened her father!

  jeongguk finally looked over at the cake and the water sitting there on the counter : he got up, grabbed both of those items, and went to go sit at the table.

  the table could fit lots of people, really. he didn't know the exact number because it didn't matter to him. what mattered was how alone and isolated it made him feel. his fingers traced small shapes into the glass plate, the extra frosting on the cake getting smeared along with it. the glass of water was something he had normally had when he woke up, but it didn't seem to satisfy him as he took a drink. jeongguk hated this. his chest throbbed and he had refused to let him show any emotion, not when he was so vulnerable to his enemies.

  he took a bite of the cake and left it like that. he took the glass of water back to his room, dragging his feet along with him as he hummed a small tune.

  a lullaby his mother used to sing to him.

  it was bittersweet, but it always calmed him down in the worst moments, especially when he was about to break down.

  jeongguk reached his room door and looked back from where he came from. the lights weren't on, so it was just an empty darkness. similar to the shadows in his nightmares, but it was different this time, really. it felt more safe and he felt as if he could control what went on here, something he couldn't do so easily with his nightmares.

he took a shaky breath in and entered his room, putting the glass of water on his drawer, and collapsing back into his bed.

now? he would think about what else he had to do later on in the day. his bride, park chaeyoung, would be here today. if things went according to plan, of course.

he closed his eyes and let himself rest, the sun was nearly up, and he would continue this routine over and over again.