What Matters

Chapter Two: Empty

(Hey people...this chapter is pretty long  and took a while for me to finish. I hope you like it and please write any comments on what would make it better xxx)

I stared, empty eyed, through the misted window, looking out onto my grey front garden. Covered in darkness, like me.

Thunder rolled over the horizon, rumbles in its throat as it growled its might objection. Flashes of lightening caught my eye, clapping angrily in the distance. Rain tumbling through the grey clouds, tears I couldn’t make fall.

My breath blew across the cold iced windows, clouding with frost. Running my hands over the frozen water particles I drew a face, a small smile planted on its face. A smile that used to belong to me. A smile I dreamt about last night. A smile I knew I’d never see again.

Watching the world, I shuddered as night washed over it, leaving me engulfed with darkness. Alone with my thoughts. My loses. My chin wobbled but I refused to allow the tears to drop, dance across my cheek, mocking me silently.

I envied the night. Thinking about greedy people sleeping soundlessly in the night, no worries crinkling their peaceful faces, while I lay, my eyes glued to the ceiling as I wondered how my life had rotated, changed…been destroyed.

Unconsciously, my hand slammed on to the window, smothering the face as the window shuddered under my force. I watched as the cool water dripped threw my fingers, making dark rings on the cream carpet. It was a symbol. I watched it, imagining the water as my life, watching painfully as it slipped through my fingers, hopelessly I stood and watched.

Pushing away from the window I walked down the grand marbled stairs and through to my mother’s kitchen, large and cold from the open window above the sink.

Slamming it shut, I turned and sunk into one of the twisting stools, my eyes walking round the room. It was too big; this kitchen, this house, it was too big. Too big for me alone. Always alone.

Everything, everything they’d ever had was mine. Every penny, every room, every shoe, every drop of water which ran through our pipes was mine. It was too much. I could feel it trying to swallow me. The day after my awakening, they threw large weights on my cracking shoulders. Pile upon pile of agony weighing down on my small body, threatening to flatten me. They had smiled apologetically as they forced paper into my trembling hands, ordering to scribble my undecided signature across each corner. Granting me with everything.  The black ink was like poison in my hands, drowning me in pain as I come to realise my parent were gone. This was final. The end.

All my life I had it all. I lived with rich parents with endless supplies of money pouring through the front door. We had experienced countless adventures together, traveling round the world to exotic places and discovering new foods, foods that melted on our tongues and warmed our insides. We had seen colours clashing together in a beautiful war in different cultures: India, Thailand, Indonesia, Spain, the Caribbean, we’d travelled the world and loved every moment of it.

Now nothing looked appealing to me anymore. The world had lost its colour, the food had lost its taste, I was surrounded by nothingness. It was a bleak darkness that followed me, attacked itself to my heart, my soul. It was forever a part of me.

Sitting in the kitchen I realised this. Looking at the glass cabinets filled with rows of fine glass wear, the walls nailed with pictures of our adventures, the fridge which was zapping with magnetic image plats of rides my father and I ventures on while my mother watched nervously from the side lines. All these things were a reminder of them, a reminder of their absence. These pictures and ordainments I once thought as beautiful now seemed plain to me.

They held black and white images of the time we’d spent together. My parents had taken away the colour, the love, the happiness.

Standing on trembling feet, I stumbled over to the wall, my face pinched in an angry snarl. Grabbing the closest picture, I pulled it from the wall and threw it to the cream marble floor, screaming out in frustration.