Some quick context: me and my friend were FaceTiming and they decided to verbally start a fanfic. My mother was right next to me so i had to type out what I wanted to say in messages and then my friend would read them aloud while I had earbuds in. My other friend soon came over bc his power was out and needed to charge his phone. So, the part where Kermit comes in is bc he wanted to write some parts of it too. So there's your context, now enjoy the fan fic you sick fuck.
FOREWARNING: IT GETS PRETTY RAUNCHY
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