Letting Him Go [slow updates] (unedited)

Chapter 8

One month later

Ryder

Today was the day that my divorce with Jessica would be final. Every time I think back on how our relationship was and how it should have been I hate myself more and more. She would no longer be my wife...I will never have a reason to see her again.

For some reason, even though I have this dreading feeling in my heart, I have Stephanie. Stephanie who I have "loved" long before Jessica came into my life. The person I was suppose to marry. So I need to forget this feeling no matter what.

After today I'll finally be free. Stephanie and I can finally get married and start our own family like we've always wanted...like we've always planned. With just that thought I wanted to punch myself, but isn't this what I always wanted?

James Callahan, my lawyer and good friend of my family, walked towards my car as I parked near the court house.

"Are you ready, son?" James asked as I got out of my car. I nodded in reply and followed him up the steps and into the courthouse. Inside there stood Daniel Peterson, Jessica's lawyer who I have only heard great things about from Jessica's family as well as on the news. Apparently he is one of the greatest lawyers in the United States.

My eyes began to roam the lobby, hoping to lay my eyes on Jessica. I kept telling myself that I only wanted to see her one last time before we were separated, but I knew it wasn't the truth. I only wanted to see her so that I can somehow change her mind about the divorce, so that I could make up some lie to tell her about how our parents would be furious and how we needed to stay together just a while longer, because even if she didn't know, I would've spent that time trying to win her back.

"Good evening Mr. Fitzgerald. Mr. Callahan." Daniel greeted as he shook our hands. "Shall we go in?" He asked as he pointed to the room we would discuss the terms of the divorce. I stood their confused for a bit.

"Don't we have to wait for Jessica?" I asked curiously.

"I thought you knew...? Jessica won't be attending our meeting today. She is still in Seattle with her brother. To be quite honest, she told me she didn't want to see you at all. She said it would have been too painful. I'm sorry, Mr. Fitzgerald." Daniel replied with a sad look on his face.

My face dropped and the aching feeling in my heart got 10 times worse. "No, no. It's fine, I understand. Shall we go in then?" I asked and headed towards the door. I guess I really hurt Jessica bad if she didn't even want to see my face at all. I couldn't help but hate myself more and more for neglecting the one person who I should have loved and cherished all because I was angry with my parents for forcing me to marry someone, blinded with my constant reassurance that I loved Stephanie and stupid to see how much my own wife cared for me and loved me just as I should have with her.

"Alright boys, shall we start?" James asked as we were all seated together.

"Of course. Mr. Fitzgerald, would you like for me to state Jessica's terms first or would you like to state yours?" Daniel asked but I gestured for him to go because to be honest, I didn't have any terms. I just wanted Jessica to be happy, and if she wanted the house, the cars, the money, I would give it all to her and hope that in some way I'd one day be worthy to get her back but I know that I'd give the would to Jessica to just get her back.

"Well, Jessica's terms are not that complicated. All that she really asks for is to keep some of the books in your library. Other then that she says that she wants nothing else and will not accept anything other than that, no exceptions." Daniel replied as he looked over his notes on a sheet of paper.

The fact that Jessica didn't want anything, no money, no cars, not even the house or her clothes that I bought for her really surprised me and in some way made me angry.

"What do you mean all she wants is books? She can take anything she wants and all she wants is books? Are you kidding?" I got up from my chair and stormed out of the room. I grabbed my phone from my pocket and dialed Jessica's number. After just 2 rings, I heard her voice.

"What do you want Ryder?" she asked in an angry tone. Even when she hates my guts she still manages to sound in some way perfect. How could I be so blind?

"Books! Out of everything that I own, all you want is books!?" I yelled through the phone.

I could hear Jessica sigh heavily from the other side of the phone and I could just picture her pacing back and forth. "Look Ryder, during the time that we were married, all I really counted on were the books to keep me company. I don't know if you noticed, but the entire time we were married I almost never went out, only when you needed me to or if I really needed to do something. Those books are the only thing I want. Why is it so hard for you to give me that?" She asked calmly.

"That's all you want? Just books? You don't want anything else?" I asked unbelievably.

"No offense Ryder, but I don't want anything that reminds me of you. I want to completely forget about you. It's not that I hate you, I just don't think that I'll be able to live with the thought of you happy with someone else and I'm afraid that I won't be able to let you go if I have anything else other than the books because I want to let you go. I need to let you go. So please understand that the books are the only thing I want and the only things I will accept." She said sadly.

I had to stop myself from begging her to come back and promising that we'd work things out and that I will end all ties between Stephanie and I, as long as we could start over and that she'd give me another chance but I knew that I couldn't be that selfish. I knew that I'd have to let her go.

"Okay, fine. I'll give you the books but please Jessica promise that you'd contact me if there is anything you ever need. No matter what I promise I'll give it to you."

"I promise. Thank you for everything. Goodbye Ryder." Jessica whispered before she hung up the phone.

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Hello lovelies,

Sorry for the long wait. I've had this whole chapter written for a few days already but I wanted to add more to it that's why it's been a while. Anyways, thanks for all the votes and comments, you guys are great! I'll try to update sooner!

Don't forget to vote and comment, it gives me a lot of motivation! Thanks again! Love you guys!

xoxo