Fears of living

Is it normal to have fake friends ?

In the first year of school , I have this group of friends , Jean, Elle and Sean .
All of us were very close until one day Jean and Elle were gossiping bout Sean telling how ugly see is , how auntyish she is and more . I didn't like people who talk bad behind people's back because its not good .

But then I realize that they were taking bout me . They were using Sean's name to talk bad about me so that it won't be that obvious but after a long time i started to realize that they were ignoring me and neglecting me so for my own good I stepped away to not bother them or disturb them

And now i just have to act like everything's fine so that no one would ever criticise me for who i am

Though I might be annoying to you that doesn't mean you can do this to me.  What if i acted like you , I texted you and you don't reply I actually am pissed off .what if i send you a like all you have to do is just a button, I actually kinda offended because ppl use like to show "I'm done talking to someone " so I'm actually also kinda pissed

I'm not a person who talks without proof . I do have proof of you online but not texting me. I have proof where you treat me differently than her . I have proof that i thought you matter to me . I have proof of being trusted by you.  But then I realize I was wrong to trust you so I just gave up hope and be the person I'll be when im with someone fake . I don't try to me myself , I try to be someone who won't annoy you , won't be too entrusted by you and blah blah blah

I'm sick of being judge by someone with my face.  I might have darker skin , that doesn't make much different between you and me

I'm sick on being looked down . I just want to have a someone who i could cry on their shoulders when i need it . Someone who doesn't feel annoyed with my character and behaviour . I just need someone to understand me for me . I actually thought that the person in mentioning about can be you but I've realize you can never be like that cause you treat me differently . I'm done being your slave . I'm done doing everything for you. In done with being friends with you