Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging {Luke Hemmings Fanfiction}

Chapter Three - School

**Chapter Three**

I arrived into the school grounds with Lauren. Sometimes, I think that Loz and I are the only normal people here! We walked passed 'Michael the laugh'. He was surrounded by people as they watched him fart on to who knows what and watching it catch fire. What even? And why do they even call him that?? Boys are such a mystery.

We continued walking but Loz and I suddenly got pushed apart by the infamous Bummer Twins, the school bullies. They are twice as mean and twice the size as pretty much any of us.

We continued walking and saw the "Perfect, blonde bimbo Kate" from the year above us. She really is Miss Bitch of the century. I looked around her at the swarm of boys all staring at her huge boobs with googly eyes. I mean, where does she get those bazoomers? How did they grow that fast?

We continued walking into the school and as we walked down the hallways I heard a big booming voice.

"Two minutes to lessons children. Lets not start the term with a detention Anderson." Our headmistress, Mrs Williamson, who was a rather big lady, spat, then stared me down.

She always likes to pick on me, and always gets me into trouble. The only reason she hates me though is because once I found her with her skirt in her knickers! And I laughed so much I nearly fainted!

The school bell rang and Lauren and I walked into our first classroom where we met the rest of the Ace Gang. I'm so grateful for them, because they fill in the long hours of the boring school day before I get to go home.

The Ace Gang, includes Abby, Tessa, Lauren, and Mwa.

We did out little secret handshake thing and sat down in our usual seats next to each other for our first lesson.

***

We sat on the grass, sitting on our hands until they went numb.

"Now, when your hands are numb, lift them up to your bazoomers, and press." Tessa instructed, and we all followed her instructions at once.

"See? It feels like someone else is touching them. Not your own hands right?" Tessa smirked as we all pressed on our boobs.

"Wow. Freakalicious." I said smiling at the feeling.

"I could get used to this." Loz sighed with pleasure.

"I don't think we should be doing this. It's kinda, lesbiany?" Abby stated.

"Well Abby, you asked me what it was like to be felt up." She said, applying her lip gloss, then passing it to Loz on her right.

"So whats the best thing about having a boyfriend?" I asked Tess.

"It just feels really natural, like really grown up and the snogging is wicked." She said and we giggled.

"Louis uses varying pressure. That's what foreign boys do." She told us. Louis was an exchange student from France.

"My parents snog occasionally. Even at their age!" I shuddered.

"Ugh, cringy!!" Loz joked.

"Seeing old people over the age of thirty snogging is just horrific." I cringed at the thought.

"Out of all of the boys I've snogged, Louis is definitely the best. Cause he's emotional." She leaned back.

"Where have you gotten up to on the snogging scale?" Loz leaned in close to Tess.

"The what?"

"Loz and I invented a 'Snogging Scale, the ten stages of snogging'." I said with hand motions while giggling.

"Are you mad?" Tess joked.

"No, its scientific." I said.

"How would you know anything about it?"

"Please! Who got 82% in bio?"

"True." Abby chimed in and Loz raised her eyebrows at Tessa.

"We cut out everything about kissing from the problem pages of every girls magazine." I grinned.

"It starts with level one: holding hands.
Two: arms round waists.
Three: goodnight kiss." Loz explained.

"Four: kiss lasting over three minutes, without breath." We all laughed. "Five: open mouth kissing."

"Number six: tongues!" We all 'ewed' and I stuck my tongue out at Tess. "Seven: upper body fondling, outdoors." Loz continued.

"Eight-" I suddenly got distracted, as I saw the two hottest guys I'd ever seen walking past behind Lauren. "Oh, my, God." They all turned around and their mouths dropped.

"I've gone all jelloid." I stated.

"Who are those fitties?"

"They're well beyond fit, they're lush."

"Wow, they are sex gods."

"Ugh, they must be newbies."

"Ace Gang, its boy stalking time." I grinned at the others and they all giggled.