Sticks and Stones

Chapter 6

"What the hell just happened?" I asked Benjamin as I held him. He looked up at me, his chocolate brown eyes confused under a furrowed brow.

"We, uh, you know..." He trailed off, face growing red. God he was adorable when he blushed. I smiled and ran my fingers through his soft, blond curls.

"Not what I meant." I chuckled, "I don't make a habit of kissing strange boys on warehouse roofs." I left out the several not so strange boys I'd fucked on said warehouse roofs. That had seemed less intimate though, simply a toy for my amusement and pleasure. I'd never cared if they'd enjoyed themselves. I certainly had never kissed them like that. I'd never wanted to. Something about this boy had made me want to throw all my usual rules and expectations out the window.

"Oh." I kissed him again.

"Not yet... but I'd be happy to help you with that" I agreed with a smirk, causing the blood to rise into his face yet again.

"Shut up." He growled, shoving playfully at me. Unable to resist taking the joke further I slowly ran my tongue across my lips, watching as his eyes followed the movement. I leaned down to press my lips against his ear.

"Did you know you taste... like chicken?" I broke down laughing as Benjamin snapped out of his trance, pushing himself away from me and to his feet. His face burned redder than I'd ever seen it. I couldn't see his expression well from my position on the ground but his set jaw and clenched fists showed he'd obviously taken my joke too hard. I stood and walked over to him, tipping his chin up with one hand while the other went down to grasp one of his tight fists.

"Hey... what did I do?" I asked softly. His face blazed with embarrassment as he looked everywhere but my eyes. 

. 

"I'd never... you were the first person I've ever even kissed." He confessed. I felt my eyes widen as I stared at him, unsure how to respond. As great as Benjamin was, chances were I'd never see him again. No one ever wanted to see me again. But I'd always just used other boys as a quick fuck, that's all either of us had wanted. I'd wandered into uncharted territory and wasn't sure yet if i wanted to continue on or just turn back.

"What happens now?" He broke my silent reflection, looking at me expectantly. Panic suddenly seized me. No one had looked at me like that in months. Not since....

"Nothing. This was great but it's over now." I said briskly, pulling my hand away from his and stepping back. He followed me forward.

"What do you mean nothing?" His deep brown eyes were full of confusion. The slight sheen to them made me freeze in fear. I was torn. I needed to leave now, before I couldn't force myself away. The hold this beautiful boy had over me already was terrifying.

"Just that. What you think this meant something just because I was your first kiss? Hell, it wouldn't have meant anything even if I was your first fuck. You were just a distraction, a means to an end." I smirked at him, heart breaking inside as I watched his face fall and tears well in his eyes. I wanted to comfort him, to tell him not to listen, but I couldn't. I couldn't get close to someone again. I wouldn't.

Not daring a glance back I left the roof. I strode through the dance floor, running flat out by the time I reached my 2012 Ninja. Vaguely I registered I'd left my shirt somewhere back in the mob but I didn't care. I needed to get out now. I hopped on the bike, peeling out of the garage as fast as I dare to go.

The wind burned in my eyes and the slight drizzle was like needles on my bare chest. Soon my soaked hair was plastered to my face, chilling me to the bone. As I left Fisher's Cove far behind I could feel myself fading into my bike. There was no time to think, no time to feel. I flew through the streets, trying to outrun the memories that were flooding back. Trying to outrun the new pain that burned in my chest as I remembered the look in Benjamin's eyes.