Amethyst (fanfic- BTS J Hope)

Amethyst - part 1

It was a beautiful spring afternoon. Everything seemed at peace...but I had lost all my peace of mind. I was at a war with myself. Everything was good until last week... When I met Hoseok...yes...Jung Hoseok. He's a heartthrob now but he is an old acquaint of mine. We studied in the same school,were in the same class and we were inseparable friends.
Reflecting on those days makes me tear up. Everything was so colorful,in contrast to the monochrome that has become an impeccable aspect of my life now.
Hoseok got all what he aspired for,on the other hand I was heavy with the burden of my disappointments.
I had never expected to meet him...and that too in this oddest possible way. I don't know if he recognized me...He actually smiled at me...but maybe because he smiles at everyone he meets.

I kept getting flashbacks from our schooldays throughout the day. Everything felt fresh...as if all of it happened only yesterday. I saw all of our little bickers as kids...those were truly the best times. Perhaps they make up the most vibrant memories of mine.

As time passed and we reached our teens,I had developed feelings for him. I wanted to tell him all that I felt for him...but all my hopes were shattered upon learning that he was in love with someone else.
I remember crying my eyes out. It was hard.
But I got over that phase. I was content that we were friends in the least.
However,I started to distance him a bit. It was necessary. I didn't want to ruin his relationship. And I couldn't take the heartache which arised everytime I realised he wasn't mine.
He was probably inaware of the inner storm I faced. I certainly never wanted to lose his friendship,so I always pretended like everything was okay. There could be over a million smiles that I had faked in front of him.
In the final year of our highschool,he casually told me that he's leaving for seoul. I was almost completely broken,but as I had mastered the craft of faking my emotions, I acted rather indifferently. I remember asking a rather plainative sounding ,"oh,may I know why?"
"I have bigger plans ahead." He said,with his eyes lit up.
"That's good", I sounded rather cold.
He looked at me, his face showed he was clearly baffled at my behaviour.
"I had always thought you considered me more than just a friend. I'm astonished at your indifference."  Hoseok said in a serious tone. Immediately after this,he laughed...to show that he didn't actually mean what he said. But his words went deep into my heart like a dagger.

I was internally screaming," yes...you were always more than a friend.. I loved you." But I suppressed all those surging emotions. It was difficult, though. But I faked up a smile again...and said ," I'm not being indifferent. I'm happy that you're chasing your dream."
"Oh. I thought.." ,he tried to chew up his words.
"What did you think?" I chimed in.
"I thought you're mad at me for something I don't know. You just don't seem like the girl you used to be." He finally said it.
"I'm not mad at you. It's just I've decided to change my persona. We do change a lot while growing up,don't we?" I was being calculative.
"If it's so,that's good. But feel free to share with me anything that bothers you.", he said with a doubtful look on his face. Perhaps he had read my mind.
" yes. Sure. " I tried to sound genuine, and drifted away from him.
I remember crying a lot. It was more painful than the revelation of his relationship. For the former case,at least I got to see him everyday..and pick up a conversation, often.
A day before he left for Seoul,he called me up. I was surprised. He told me that he'd leave early morning. I told him I'd be at the bus stop to bid him a farewell. He chuckled and said it wasn't really required. I insisted and we hanged up after a brief talk.
Surprisingly, it started to rain heavily the next morning. (Were the heavens as grieved as me?).

(Word count: 726 . This is my first fanfic. Please show some support. I'll update the next parts shortly. Love y'all)