Oh gosh, my best friend was pissed. She found out. She found out what I did. How will she ever forgive me? I was in the drive thru line of Taco Bell with my mom and typing away apologizing for every single mistake I made. I know I did a horrible thing but I didn't want to hurt him, and maybe just maybe I loved when he was nice and I didn't want to lose that feeling.
"How come you didn't just tell me?", she texted to me.
"Bc I knew you would be mad like you are, I'm sorry Kendall!", I replied back.
She read and didn't reply. Of course. She was known for ignoring people's messages unless she had something better to say. In this case, she didn't.
You're probably wondering what I did. I did something horrible. I broke girl code.
I "talked" to her ex boyfriend, and the sad thing is that I faked feelings for him, but at the same time I felt as I did have feelings toward him. He was always soo sweet to me. Now, that she knew it seemed as he did too. His best friend Nick texted me with the word "how could you do that to josh" . I ruined everything. I was losing my best friend and at the same time I hurt someone who actually liked me and I hurt myself too. I apologized once again to Kendall and it finally seemed after many apologies and a double chin picture of me she forgave me. I knew she had forgiven me once she sent me a double chin picture back. We had that sort of relationship were we were crazy towards each other!
Days passed and I didn't get a single text or call from Josh. I really hurt him. The sad thing is I really hurt myself too. I question myself everyday. I laid down on my bed spreading my body out like a starfish. I laid there and thought. Why did I push him away? He really cared, at least I think he did. I guess I pushed him away because I was afraid of getting hurt once again by him. I had the thought of a broken heart and I didn't want to risk it. I sat there continuing to think and I realized one thing. I really like Josh.
