The Bad Boy with a Heart of Gold

✖ Chapter 25 ✖

My friends had good intentions, but as the saying went, those paved the way to hell.

I felt like that was exactly where I was as I sat in the school library. Sawyer was next to me, reading Romeo and Juliet like it wasn't ironic at all. Around us were Courtney, Lina and their boyfriends. It seemed like as soon as baseball practice had let off they'd followed along with Sawyer as part of the girls' plan to give me moral support. Their logic was that if Sawyer and I were seen together, the gossip mongers were sure to grow more rabid. The problem was that this group was already strange enough that it was attracting a lot of looks.

I did my best to avoid them and focus on my own homework, but I couldn't shake the flutter in my belly. I'd tried twice during the day to corner Sawyer and apologize. The first time I failed because the words wouldn't come out. I just stood there in front of him like an idiot until the bell rang and we had to go our separate ways.

My second attempt was during lunchtime, which was when I found him talking with Mr. Davies in front of the vending machines.

"Glad you can join us, Rory," our teacher said with a smile. He patted Sawyer in the back. "Sawyer here and I were talking about how the tutoring's doing."

I could see by Sawyer's tight lips that he was not too happy with the topic.

I feigned ignorance and asked him, "It's going well, isn't it?"

The pause was longer than I intended but eventually he grumbled out a, "Sure."

"Good," Mr. Davies said. As the conversation devolved into what topics we were going to be covering in this week's sessions, I understood that Sawyer's tacit agreement of continuing with the tutoring meant I had another chance to make amends.

I didn't know how to freaking do that.

So I ranted to Courtney and Lina about it enough that they also started getting the nerves. Just before we headed to our respective clubs, we agreed they'd tag along for today's study session with Sawyer and that already made me feel better. I went through the Yearbook meeting without issue, but as soon as it was done the jitters hit me again.

If I'd had more experience screwing up before I'd know how to handle this. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that it wasn't like I was ever perfect. I just never cared to apologize for my flaws, because that would mean admitting they were an issue. Something happened in the past three months that made me see that and I wasn't sure how to come to terms.

That was the existential crisis that gripped me by the throat as I sat there next to the subject of my latest mistake. I could hardly focus on the paper I was supposed to be writing, and for lack of anything else to do to appear busy I started drawing on my notebook. It started as lines I traced with my pen, not really minding where it went on the page. Soon I noticed that it was turning into a face, and that the face looked very familiar. I gasped and hugged the notebook against my chest, looking around to see if anyone noticed. Ryan and Courtney were murmuring things to each other that had him blushing as much as she smirked. Lina and Matt were actually working.

I turned to Sawyer and nearly jumped out of my skin. He was looking at me with a definite smirk on his face.

"Was that me?" he asked in a low tone that sent shivers through me.

"No," I lied. Even though the drawing definitely had the deep set of his eyes and the strands of hair falling across them like a careless whisper.

"Really," he drawled, resting his chin on his fist as he continued to look at me in a way that made me feel like a volcano about to explode.

And explode I did. I jumped to my feet and bee lined around our table so I could hide among the shelves. That was where I saw a couple of girls who'd been sitting nearby openly giggle at me. All I could do was wring my notebook like it was someone's neck. That was where my friends found me