constellation

8

4:12 am—
Luna-
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i gasp, feeling my heart beating out of its chest. the fear unsettling me and making me feel sick to my stomach. " did i startle you?" i hear and see my roommate. the monitors softly beeping and her tired eyes lidded. " no, a bad dream... you should go, get some sleep" and she scoffs " and leave you here alone? no" and i lay back down. the tube making my nose hurt, but not too badly.

" how long does this have to be in?" i ask and Mia looks " oh the calorie drip? till tomorrow" and i huff. " listen if you'd eat once in a while you wouldn't need it" and i roll over to my side. feeling my tears well up " what if he doesn't come back..." i say and she touches my back " he will... im going to get some coffee. try to sleep again" and i nod.

she leaves and i sit up, letting sobs escape me. the door opens and i say " Mia... just go home. please." and there's silence " oh my god...." i hear and a bag drop. i look up and see Jimin there, exhausted and more muscular than last week. " j-jiminie" i say and he immediately wraps his arms around me.

" i'm sorry i left.... i-i'm sorry" he says and holds me tight. " it's the company right?" i ask and he nods " yes..." and i look up " you'll move won't you...." and he bites his lip " i will." he admits. i say " so will i" and he smiles " don't do that... your dreams Luna" and i say " are dance. Seoul has a great dance school"

he nods " my grandma lives there... Jimin i want to go with you" and he presses his lips to my forehead " i won't stop you" he says and holds me tight. i relax and he whispers " they want me to finish college there.... i agreed."

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a week later—

i end the call and hear the loud voices i've grown to love so much " Seokjin oppa, hurry up i'm hungry" i hear Mia whine and i exit the upstairs bedroom. i walk down the stairs and see them all sitting there, laughing and having fun. except him.

" he's at class, don't worry he's coming right after" Jungkook says and i nod. Jin walks in and claps " food is nearly ready" and i furrow my brows " i thought someone ordered take out?" and Jin scoffs " and feed my children that?! not in my house"

the door opens and i turn around to see someone in a hoodie and jeans, hood up and face covered with a mask. " Jimin?" i ask and he looks up. " o-oh shit" he says and i furrow my brows " weren't you at class? where's your bag?" i ask and he stutters " i-uhm uh i left it in my car" and i say " no you didn't"

he sighs " Noona.... come on let him rest for a few" Taehyung says and i look at him once and he shuts right up. " Luna, i'm sorry okay..." Jimin says and i ask " where were you?" and he slides his hood off and raven black hair spills from the top of his head. i watch him take the mask off and his face, it's so.... skinny.

i bite my lip and silence fills the air " i went to therapy Luna. i just left the hospital because this is the third damn calorie drip i've had this month" and i feel tears prick my eyes " Park Jimin, WHY?!" i yell and he looks down " do you not care?! we're all sitting here trying to help you get better and you just don't fucking care?!" and he sighs.

" i gained 8 pounds for you, EIGHT! Why do you keep doing this to yourself!!! do you want to die?!" i yell in a fit of anger and he looks up " i'm sorry... i don't want to be like this! but i cant help it okay? i'm trying so hard but everything isn't working!" i cry " TRY HARDER!" and he yells in anger " i didn't ask for your help!" and i run up the stairs.

slamming a door and pacing around, trying to calm myself down.

•
Jimin-

i sit there, slowly eating the food jin cooked. they don't watch me, because they know it makes it worse. instead they just talk, occasionally i chime in but not like usual. i watch as Yoongi scoots closer to me and pats my back " she's not mad at you" and i laugh " right" and he sighs " she just feels like you don't want to live. i think with these things people pin the blame on themselves"

i look at him " how do you know?" and he leans back " my girlfriend. she's a cutter. every time she slips up, i feel like it's my fault for being so cold and hard on her..." and he picks up some food with his chopsticks " i know how hard it is Jimin, but for her.... don't torture yourself" and i say " you heard him Hyung. he told me i was too bulky for the clothes"

he looks up " they can buy a bigger size, not everyone can be a damn stick. if you drop another pound i'll personally shove some noodles down your throat" and i smile " okay" and finish up my food. i hear someone call my name softly " Jimin-ah?"

i look up and mia smiles " go talk with her." and she sits down. i furrow my brows " she doesn't want to talk to me" and Mia says " i found her in your bedroom. she looks like she's asleep but i know she's staring out of the window." and i listen as she speaks, taking notes. " she always does that when she's upset, but at herself. i talk to her when she's like that and she always feels better"

i nod and she hands me a bowl and chopsticks " her favorite noodles. maybe she will eat" and i nod and take them in my hands. i excuse myself from the table and walk up the stairs quietly. i open my door and see her body there, laying in the bed and watching the stars. i close the door and walk to her side " jagiya..." i say softly and she flinches.

i sit down and she looks at me briefly before going back to the stars " you know, that star is only 8,000 years old. it can only be seen from Korea, no other country can see it" and she doesn't budge " only during the spring seasons, that's when it shows up. it's named Lunar Orion" and she cracks a small smile.

" it's unnamed" she says and i lay down next to her, wrapping my arm around her and tucking the hair behind her ear. " not anymore... that's your star Luna" and she laughs " i already have one" and i pout " you" she says and i smile wide " because no other star is worth as much as you are jimin"

" you are my own little constellation"
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