Conversations In Hell

Chapter 4

"Rise and shine! We don't have all day." Fiona hollered as she stepped out of her bedroom stretching. She noticed Niklaus was sitting in the same spot as yesterday, watching the same program as yesterday.

"Pipe it down woman. Some of us happen to have elevated senses." Niklaus growled a bit.

"Boo hoo. Want a treat? Too bad, mutt." Fiona cackled. "Anyway...don't you ever sleep?" She said as she walked into the kitchen to make herself a sandwich.

"No. I don't need it. Do you need a crash course? Or would you prefer a hands on experience?" Niklaus chuckled and got up, walking to the kitchen and leaning against the wall.

"Would have gladly opt for the hands on if I knew it would work. Not even your bite works here, Dracula. It's magic." Fiona shrugged off and grabbed a lemonade carton from the refrigerator.

"Which is it mutt or Dracula? Besides that...a little blood never hurt anyone. I could use some." Niklaus commented.

"So that's what you do when that half baked crackpot takes us back to torturevill", Fiona probed, walking past him to the table, putting down the sandwich and glass of lemonade then sitting down.

"Indeed. Although something's off. I don't feel as "Dracula" as I should. Something I've been meaning to look into, but Legba hasn't come to fetch you two in weeks", Niklaus pondered, walking into the kitchen and grabbing a bottle of bourbon.

"And he better not come anytime soon. Oh, that's easy. You creatures might not have existed on our turf, but witches always have an extensive knowledge", Fiona mumbled through her sandwich.

"Alright. On with it then. What is it?" Niklaus insisted, glancing in her direction and scrunching his face a bit. Disgusting. How is this woman a supreme again?

"You're no longer a vampire", Fiona replied with a shrug and took a sip of her lemonade.

"Incorrect. I still feed off of blood", Niklaus rebuked.

"Calm down. And yes, that is expected. You're used to the taste and you're a wolf. Animals, especially wolves, respond different to the sight of blood. How else would they be able to eat all that dead carcass!" Fiona expressed with a giggle.

"Old hag, I would think twice if I were you about crossing paths with me", Niklaus growled, appearing in front of her in a flash. "Then what do you call this?"

"Stop acting like a child and deal with it. Unless you think you can find another answer. And I call that the speed of a wolf. They're much faster than humans, you know", Fiona grinned, enjoying his irritated and disbelieving behavior. If only Marie Laveau was here for this. she would have messed with him good. But I'll play nice.

"Save the lecture. I'm 1,000 years old; not stupid", Niklaus stated, taking a seat across from her.

"And here I thought I was the old one. You even beat Marie Laveau!" Fiona exclaimed. "I'll have whatever you're having", she laughed. Has everyone found the fountain of youth except for me?

"Oh, I heard about your quest for youth. A little birdie told me." Now it was his turn to grin. "The lengths you would go....You put me to shame. Giving up your only child."

"Cordelia? Please. If I could live forever and still look young doing it; I'd gladly give up my ability to have children." Fiona waved off, standing up and picking up her plate along with her glass cup.

"No wonder you don't have a soul. Even I have more of a soul than you." Niklaus laughed, amused by her selfish demeanor. Reminds me of Dahlia and Esther in some way. Except I'd never fuck this broad. Not even to save Hope. Now Dahlia and Esther; been there, done that.

"I take that as a compliment considering what I've heard about you. Ironically, Legba didn't want me because I lacked a soul. And here I am. In this knotty pine!" Fiona gesturing with her arms. "So whether you have a soul or not isn't important here." She shrugged.

"Well, considering I don't have a personal hell and you two do; I beg to differ." Niklaus replied.

"What are youh two on about this early in da morning?" Marie Laveau yawned, walking into the living-room and sitting on the sofa.

"Blood. Wolves. Souls", Fiona stated, walking into the living-room and joining Marie Laveau on the sofa.

"Oh, and it's afternoon", Niklaus piped in.

"Sounds like my kind of talk. Shouda been here. I'm surprised Legba hasn't come to overwork us", Marie Laveau snickered. "Afternoon already?"

"Indeed, you missed quite a bit, love." Niklaus grinned.

"Psh. It was worth the sleep." Marie Laveau waved off.

"Let's not talk about that half baked crackpot. Instead, now that we're all here, let's have some fun." Fiona exclaimed, rushing over to the kitchen and grabbing several bottles of bourbon. Returning back to the living-room, she handed Niklaus a few and walked over to the sofa, handing Marie Laveau a few before sitting herself down on the wooden chair.

"What you have in mind? Because if it's what I believe it is. You lost already." Niklaus chuckled at Fiona, getting up to sit on the sofa beside Marie Laveau.

"With him on that one. I saw youh knocked out, flat on youh ass." Marie Laveau laughed.

"Ha-ha, hilarious. You know I actually...nevermind. That's not what this about." Fiona waved off. "We can all agree we either have no soul or a barely hanging one." Fiona continued while Marie and Niklaus glanced at each other and looked back at her, questionably. "So what I wanna know is...who's done the worst?" Fiona smirked.

"This'll be fun. I got a few of those." Marie Laveau simpered.

"So do I." Niklaus grinned.

"Hm. Let's see." Fiona rubbed her chin. "I burned down an entire church because this one foul bitch couldn't shut up."

"Hah. I tortured and killed lives for a living." Marie Laveau sneered.

"Well, not only did I burn down cities, slaughter countless civilizations, tortured lives for the fun of it, but I've had sex with my aunt, my mother, and my younger sister." Niklaus stated in a smug tone.

"Sounds about white. He wins." Marie Laveau declared taking a sip of the bourbon.

"I second that. No wonder you're in hell. Fucks sake." Fiona laughed also taking a sip of the bourbon.

"I'm honored." Niklaus grinned, standing up to bow in dramatic way.

"Youh are a mess." Marie Laveau laughed along with Fiona.

"The devil in disguise." Fiona claimed.