Being Adalyne (Sequel)

Distraction

I was right; Emily's skin is soft.

I know, because in the middle of Emily kissing me back - my fingertips somehow found their way to her neck, then collarbone, and even lower to the skin above her cleavage.

I lightly pushed Emily back until the wall stopped her from going any further, then deepened our gentle kiss into a more fervered one.

I'm not sure if it was instinct, or just needing what I haven't had in so long that caused me to drop my hands to her stomach and push up on the fabric with intent to remove her shirt completely, but her hands stopped me and her lips were abruptly moved from mine.

"Wait.. wait.. wait." Emily breathed out.

I definitely felt the loss of her lips and my mind was a bit fuzzy, but I froze at her words and whispered, "I'm sorry."

"It's ok, Adalyne, it's just... Why did you call me?"

The fuzziness went away with her words and I stepped back once I became coherent enough to understand the situation I had gotten myself in. "I don't know. I got into a fight with Leslie.. and.. you were the first person I thought to call."

Emily didn't say anything for a moment and it began to feel very awkward in that silence. What am I doing? I would say this isn't like me, but I haven't been in this situation enough to know what is or isn't me when it comes to intimacy with almost strangers.

"What did you fight about?" Emily finally asked.

I wrestled with myself on whether or not to tell her, but went with honesty in the end. "She said some things.. about Jazmin, my wife, and I didn't take it well."

"Your wife..." Emily had looked away and was staring at the window, "And you called me?"

I couldn't tell if that was a rhetorical question, but I answered anyway, "Yes. I was really upset and wasn't sure what to do. You popped up in my mind, so.. yeah."

Emily turned her head and looked back at me. Her tone was all too serious when she asked, "So, I'm a distraction?"

I shook my head immediately to deny it, but Emily grabbed my wrist, stopping me and causing a slight panic to rise in me. "Tell me the truth, Adalyne."

I clenched that fist and lowered my head in attempt to calm the overwhelming need to run and spoke quietly, "Maybe, but not intentionally."

Emily let go and I heard her sigh, but I still couldn't look at her. My heart was beating too fast and I felt sick.

"Adalyne, please look at me."

I took a deep breath, then slowly lifted my head and looked into Emily's eyes. She didn't look angry, but she didn't look happy either.

"Let's sit down and talk. Ok?"

I nodded, then followed Emily to the sofa and sat sideways on the far end with my legs crossed, so that I was facing her. I felt small and ashamed, but told myself to breathe in an attempt to calm the nerves and my wildly beating heart.

Emily's tone was gentle as she began to speak, "I like you, Adalyne. I really do and I'm not looking to play games or just be a warm body when you need one. If you're not ready, fine, just tell me and I'll understand, but, if there's any part of you, no matter how small, that may consider giving me a chance, then I'd love to give you one in return."

I twisted the ring on my finger and digested her words. What do I want? I sighed and looked down at the gold wrapped around my finger and spoke, "I have truly only loved one person in my life. Before her, I was completely lost and resigned to a life of misery and despair. She saved me... and by that, I mean, she literally saved me. More than once. There has been a time or two when I've thought that maybe my love for her came from a place of gratefulness for rescuing me from a situation that may very well have killed me. But, the truth is, I fell in love with her before she saved me and I still love her, just as I always have and I doubt that I can ever really love another the same."