Canorous

Fifteen

Ever since the squires lived in Erwin's manor, the place has been full of sound and enjoyment. Of course, this meant more things to do and take care of for Martha but she had no other choice. It was her job after all.

Levi was seated on his window sill, enjoying the breeze and breathing in the calm scent of lavenders. Faint on his lips was a smile. His hair was ruffled by the wind, the same as his mother did it to him.

The sun was bright yet gentle and sheep-looking clouds were spread throughout the light blue sheet above called the sky.

He was moving his legs and made his ankle tap on the concrete of the wall, making beats that were both irregular and regular. He was barefoot and his pale feet rejoiced as the wind tickled them sweetly.

Looking at the lavenders, he remembered the stool that he and Erwin were designing. Where could it be? Is it still in the attic?

He turned and leapt back to his room. He tied the curtains together, created a small decorative flower out of it and tied it with a string he randomly found and he left his room, closing the door behind him.

He climbed the stairs to the attic and opened the trapdoor. Surprisingly, Martha was not there sleeping like she always did on hot afternoons. Levi stepped inside and looked for the stool which sat at the far end of the room. Levi crawled to there and admired it. He traced the lavenders with his fingers, feeling the embossed wood and the cuts and curves of it.

Erwin has been so busy again with the other squires and it is starting to irritate Levi. He was feeling lonely. Too lonely.

His insides feel hollow as the engravings that cut through the wood. He blinked, thinking about the time when he and Erwin carved this stool. They spent a good amount of time decorating it but now, it is locked away up in the attic, possibly forgotten.

Sadness bit his heart as he began to tear up. He has never been this emotional in years and he hates it. He does not understand why he tries so hard to catch Erwin's affections and attention. For a short period of time, he did not think he will fall in love and to think that he is loving a man, it disgusts him and society is disgusted of him too.

No one would want him.

Neither would Erwin.

He bit his lip, trying to mask his sniffles and gasps. He covered his face in shame with his shaky palms. He took deep breaths before breaking down in sobs again.

He held onto his chest, clutching the fabric that covered it. It was painfully clear like the sun that shines bright. He leaned to the stool as his tears fell down from his eyes, traced his nose and cheeks and down to the floor.

He might not be able to interact with Erwin as much as he used to. The stool they spent time with together is probably the only hope he has but how can he do that when it is almost forgotten?

As the quick fainting scent of lavender passed through the small window of the attic, Levi's hope to earn Erwin's love is growing faint as well. Still, it is fragrant but his hope for it is faint.

He stood up, wiping away the snot and tears away with his sleeves. This disgusted him but he did not want to be seen with tear-filled eyes. He inhaled and exhaled before going down back to his room.

Despite the number of people that were currently staying in Erwin's manor, it was quiet in the hallway as his shoes tapped on the floor, making short and rhythmic sounds with every step he took.

He twisted the copper knob of his room and to his surprise, Erwin was there. The tall blonde man sat on the chair before the window that overlooked the endless lavender field.