This sucks I dont like moving to another city feeling isolated again. What will become of me? I'm always wondering but I guess I will have to experience the move to find out. My mother is sitting next to my brother and I am sitting next to my sister on the plane, I called the window seat because I always love to see how the world in a matter of 3 or 4 minutes, becomes so small making me feel like the man above everyone that's in the ground right now. My sister taps my shoulder and tells me to just sit back and relax. "How do you expect me to just look at this move as something positive? I am leaving my life here and everything this city had to offer me." Ana just rolled her eyes and put her headphones "Just don't talk to me till we get to Chicago okay?" "Didn't even plan on talking to you" I responded. Through the flight my travels consisted of listening to: Drake, Childish Gambino, Odd Future and for a little bit of a throw-back: The Fray. Not to mention the series of old boring movies they had on the plane. So I basically just stuck to looking outside my window and enjoying the view. 3 hours into the flight and it begins to feel never ending like this plane just took off without a destination. As im closing my eyes I wonder what it would be like to be a bird and fly without any worries, the sensation of lifting from the ground like all the problems you had would just suddenly disappear, a weight being lifted of your shoulders. But what happens when your problems catch on to you as your flying and suddenly you can't fly anymore but only fall down. Suddenly all I see is the concrete looking bigger and bigger by the second, I'm screaming and as I'm about to hit the ground I wake up realizing it was only a dream. I look outside the window and already the flight attendant is saying "Now fellas great afternoon, if you look to your left that is the city of Chicago and for starters this city never looked this beautiful" it was 90 degrees with the clouds all cleared out, sky as blue as the water there is in cancun. I have to admit the city looked pretty damn intimidating but I was up for a challenge. I look over to my sister tap, her in the shoulder, shake her as well and tell her to wake up. I forgot that my sister was a deep sleeper so I grabbed her phone and turned it up all the way up. I know it was kind of a mean move but I had to do it in order for her to wake up, she basically jumps and almost yells her lungs out to me but I shush her and point towards the window. She pushed me out of the way with the palm of her hand, looks out the window and is in immediate astonishment "it's beautiful isn't it?" She said while smiling "I won't get my hopes up too quick I need to see what this city has to offer me first." She was right , I didn't know what the city had to offer to me I just had to hope for the best and prepare for the worst. I look over to my right side and see my brother with a poker face, as if the move didn't impact him at all, he just kept reading his book; And my mom had this contagious smile that by just looking at her happy, would make you happy. Im trying not to be selfish, it's really hard for me to not be selfish but it isn't about me right now i just have to keep smiling. We began descending to the O'hare airport and this was it , each second passing felt more and more like we were actually doing this. I keep thinking that my mom played a real good practical joke on us and as soon as we get off the plane she will just laugh and tell us that she was just playing around and bought a two way flight from chicago back to mexico, but it wasnt like that at all because: A) we have no money and B) my mom never kids around with this kind of stuff. I'm not gonna lie I was a little excited to be in a new city and new people and new everything. I have a clean slate and I am gonna try to make the best of it.
Getting off the plane is so surreal but nostalgic at the same time. I can't help but remember of the time my family moved from mexico to seattle, I remember it so vaguely. I just remember sitting at the airport resting my head against my moms lap to exauhsted from being woken up at 4 in the morning, after all, I was only 3 years old. You might think that im exaggerating about the fact that I remember being at the airport at such a young age but you don't ever forget things like that.....ever. As we walk from the plane to the airport we pass some restrooms along the way and I just storm into it as if i were trying to hide from someone, but in a way I was hiding, I wasn't ready, Im a coward. I head towards the sink and look at the mirror, wash my face and think to myself, speaking in third person, YOU GOT THIS! I see myself as if this were a real bad ass moment walking out with eye of the tiger playing in the background and white doves flying out of from behind me while the air blows through the roots of my hair. But in reality I just walk out with a scared face as if someone had tormented me inside the bathroom the whole time I was in there. It's kind of funny when you are walking out the airport and you see some complete stranger waiting for us by his car just smiling as if he were my father. But hes not, he is just some guy my mom met on a dating site and ended up reeling my mom in. I just keep telling my self to be nice and he greets my mom with a welcome home kiss and that felt like a punch in my fucking gut. That's not my father, that's not my father I keep telling myself. But im gonna be honest he really appeared to be a good guy......just appeared to be.
The next couple of hours we spent riding all the way back to his house but we were so far up north that it took us a while to see downtown Chicago and man when we saw it, it was one of the most breath taking cities i've seen. The car ride was more of a personal tour around the city cause in order to get to the house you had to pass by downtown. Before heading home, I don't even know why I even consider it calling home, we stopped by to go eat at chili's and had a long conversation to trying to get to know each other. After dinner we headed to his house.
Arriving to the house wasn't all that bad except for the fact that we didn't have a room to sleep in we all slept in what should be the living room with 3 king sized beds all next to each other. Even though we had no privacy it surprisingly felt very homey. After I took a shower I laid in bed, very jet lagged by the way, thinking how this all happens for a reason but I sleep with one thought and one thought only.... What's the reason?
