windows \\ meanie

twenty five.

next time the two see each other, they're looked in seungkwan's bathroom.

blame it on soonyoung and his stupid game of seven minutes in heaven. blame it on everybody's drunken laughter.

wonwoo didn't want to be here in the first place.

and to be here, stuck with mingyu, was the cherry on top.

"wait, soonyoung-"

click.

the door is locked. wonwoo can hear the giggles of the others from the other room.

they're giggling, but seokmin and junhui are scared.

both have the thought: what if wonwoo is going to break himself even more?

this thought keeps them sober.

——

panic runs though wonwoo's rib cage. he feels like he can't breathe.

wonwoo stays close to the door; the only hope of getting out. the room is dark, and he feels like mingyu is going to see all of his insecurities.

"i'm sorry."

reminds wonwoo of all the post it notes mingyu puts by at the welcome mat. it's so simple. it's not enough.

"do better." wonwoo replies with clenched teeth. all he wanted was for mingyu to shut up.

mingyu clears his throat. wonwoo continues to stare at the door; hoping that it will disintegrate and he could escape.

"i'm an asshole," mingyu says. "i am an asshole and everybody knows it. i'm an idiot, and i've done everything wrongly."

wonwoo's hand drops to his lap. he continues to stare at the wood door.

"and i-i know i don't deserve it, but...i'd really like it if you forgave me."

wonwoo laughs breathlessly. it's a cold, sad, pathetic laugh.

"no."

he tries to become harsh and cruel as possible. he clenches his fist, and starts to bang on the door.

"soonyoung! open this fucking door before i tear it apart myself!"

no answer.

"wait, i- no." mingyu stutters, not able to find words. he's a mess, face flushed and hair messed up.

"can you look at me please?" he pleads.

"no." wonwoo repeats. it sounds so broken and watery.

mingyu grabs wonwoo's shoulders and turns him around to face him. the moonlight coming from the window shines onto mingyu's face.

"i'm sorry." he says once more. sincere and warm. his hands are shaky while gripping wonwoo's shoulders.

"i dont deserve you. i know everything i did was wrong, but i promise it was because i was so dense...i didn't know. i didn't know that this was more than just...what it was.." his trembling hands clasps wonwoo's. both of their focus is on the hands, not wanting to confront each other with eyes.