Hammer's Payback - Iron Man Fan Fiction (Marvel Cinematic Universe)

Chapter 19

Hammer hurried to the compartment where the tech heads were working on the suit. The old saying said one could attract more flies with honey than with vinegar. He'd tried the vinegar, and while looking at Stark's bruised-up face was incredibly satisfying, it didn't catch the flies. Once he got rid of all of Amar's people, Hammer could take his time and do what he wanted. But he had to placate his benefactors first.

He knew from the beginning they weren't quite upstanding Americans. But terrorists? That was just Stark trying to play his 'moral high ground' card.

Amar was looking for weapons to fuel a revolution. So what? George Washington led a huge revolution with an illegal army funded by foreigners and nobody looked down on him. He was a bona fide hero of epic proportions! He was bigger than Tony Stark would ever be. Why couldn't Amar go back to whatever backwards country he came from and fight for his pet cause, too? Insurgents and rebels killed each other every day and no one really cared, least of all, people who sold weapons.

However, it was their tendency to take killing rather casually that spurred Hammer to set aside his own agenda until he could fulfill his obligation. Above all, he wanted Amar's goons to take their prize and leave.

Consequently, he had decided to set aside the vinegar and try honey for catching flies. He didn't really believe Potts had suffered a miscarriage from that kick (and if she did, it was her own damned fault for provoking it), but she was a woman, and as such, more fragile than a man. It was no big deal to untie her for a bit. Removing her from the room with Stark had been a stroke of genius, which Hammer only realized after the fact. Stark had let his imagination run completely wild in her absence, probably imagining she'd been beat-up, raped, maimed, and/or killed. Roughing up Stark himself had just made him stubborn, but letting him think they might hurt her had completely eroded his resolve and now he'd given up the password to the armor.

Hammer burst through the door and found three assault rifles pointed at him. He was still trying to come up with a humorous way to deflect their blunder when they realized he was alone and lowered their weapons. "Larry, Moe, and Curly," he announced loudly.

The goons all looked at him like he was insane.

The suitcase, however, made mechanical whirring noises and started to morph right before their eyes. Two of the goons jumped back in alarm. Just like in Monaco, the suit presented the front of a metal boot.

"See? I told you I'd get you in. Call your helicopter to come and get you." If there was another small sub out there, they could easily hit it from the air. Practically anyone could buy a Russian APR-3E aerial anti-sub torpedo. War Machine, if indeed he was even here, would be neutralized long before he made it to the surface. But most likely, Stark made up the entire cockamamie story, just trying to scare him.

One of the goons tried to insert his foot in the armor boot. A robotic voice that sounded like HAL 9000 from 2001: A Space Odyssey issued out of the suit: "What are you doing, Dave?"

"I am no called Dave," the techie said in heavily accented English.

"What are you doing, Dave?" the robot voice asked again.

The guy looked up at Hammer as if he would know what to do next. Hammer waved a 'keep going' gesture. The goon frowned and then spoke to the boot in a stilted and overly-loud voice. "I am putting on armor. Make suit for me."

"I'm sorry, Dave, but this does not seem to be your foot. Did your foot shrink, Dave?"

"Why this thing call me Dave?" the guy muttered under his breath.

Hammer cleared his throat and spoke with exaggerated authority. "It's probably programmed only to respond to 'Dave'. You should go along with it." That had to be a joke of Stark's. Too bad the whole ruse was wasted on these uncultured grunts.