Sides of a Hero

9. Past Mistakes

"I see you have regained consciousness." Logan commented; not looking away from his book. "How are you feeling, physically, at the moment?"

Virgil carefully used his right arm to push himself into a more upright position; a blanket sliding down from his torso as he rose. Although he tried to hide it, he couldn't help but let out a small hiss of pain as he adjusted his left arm.

No point in trying to lie now. "I'm sore. But I'm sure that was obvious." Virgil's tone held just a hint of anger. That was a bit too truthful, Virge.

Logan sighed and closed his book to look at Virgil. "While I would prefer to focus our discussion on your health and the events at the cliff, I can't help but sense that you have some... Frustration held towards me since the nightmare incident. Would you care to elaborate on how I have upset you, Virgil?"

Virgil avoided all eye contact with Logan. He didn't want to talk to him about this; not right now anyway.

Logan took a deep breath in. "Then maybe I should share the conclusions I have made regarding your attitude towards me."

Virgil looked away and willed himself to disappear into his room...no such luck. He could feel his room, but he couldn't get there. Great, I'm locked out. Perfect consequence for saving Roman's ass.

"Very well then. I have been reviewing the impulses in the mindscape currently and reflecting on how these, and many other, impulses were dealt with in the past. When I was explaining Conformity to Thomas, you expressed anger and simplified my power as making you do as you were told. Considering the impulses you are probably a fusion of, you have more than likely experienced the effects of Conformity. Am I on the right track?"

Virgil remained silent.

"Okay... Well then, this would also connect with your discomfort around the discussion of which impulses you are a fusion of, and what power you hold. You wish to keep your past hardships hidden. Many of your fusions were most likely treated... Unfairly."

Virgil scoffed, but didn't make a move to respond to Logan.

"You, yourself, were treated in an unfair manner by us after becoming a core side. While you are working with Thomas and us more now, that doesn't take away from the pain of the past. As much as you try to hide it... You still feel resentment towards us due to your treatment, and that is ok."

Virgil turned to look at Logan. "What?"

"What you feel is ok, Virgil. You are allowed to feel anger, resentment or whatever you wish, towards us. Me, in particular. I know I abused my power in the past."

"That's a mild understatement." Virgil turned away to avoid Logan's eyes again. "You were always having debates with the sides and positive impulses when they disagreed with you, but the moment any 'negative' impulse got in your way... You sent us away."

Silent tears slipped out of Virgil's eyes; just out of Logan's view. Virgil pictured all the times his nameless self had seen Logan's eyes glow blue; and he sensed that other parts of himself had seen those eyes too.

"You don't know what it feels like, Logan. When you have a job to do. Something in you is telling you that you need to do something, and you... Try to satisfy that need. To feel complete. To feel accomplished. Only to have you... Have you look at me with those eyes... And strip me of everything."

Virgil turned to look at Logan; tear streaks were evident on his face, yet no more tears fell.

"When you use Conformity on Thomas, yeah maybe you only make him do what you tell him too; but on us...impulses... You stripped away all that we were... For what felt like a lifetime. I wasn't angry that you used your influence...I was angry with how casually you spoke about it. Like it was just some harmless thing; when it's not. It had consequences that you, Logic, never considered."