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when luke walked home that night, the phosphorescing moon hung above him, with small specks of light interspersing the tenebrous pitch black sky, luke didn't feel like complete utter shit.
for once, he wasn't wallowing in his own pity, or crying his eyes out as he thought about everything around him that resembled his insipid boy.
he sighed, maneuvering around his home. everything that belonged to michael was left exactly as they were untouched. luke could never move them, not the jeans on the floor, or mike's favorite ice cream in the freezer, or the medical gloves he had left on the counter. he felt the guilt rise, and sometimes he didn't even know how to handle it. he loved being reminded of michael, but the reminders chipped at him slowly. there was so much life left in him, so much they should have done togather, but luke was left to live in a graveyard of a home that housed the last few memories of them togather. it killed him. the best memories, and the worst.
by the time michael died, cancer had stolen everything from him. he was left a shell of the boy luke loved, unable to do anything except sleep. tubes ran around and through his body, pumping him full of chemicals that should have saved him. cancer robbed him of everything that made him the boy luke loved.
the last few days was spent in luke's arms, just the sound of beeping in the hospital room, and soft breaths, so quiet that luke was so scared he would miss it. luke lay awake every night, terrified that he would wake up and michael would not be there. he memorized all his features, from the purple bruises on his chest, to his thinning hair and his white eyes. the disease took away his sight, the beautiful eyes that luke loved so much, and michael grieved for that he could never see the love of his life again, until eventually they closed, and never opened.
and luke was so scared. but the time still came, and life was unforgiving and cold. michael was so scared of the dark and it kills him that his last few days was left in darkness. and it kills him that michael is slipping away from memory. the sound of his voice, the touch of his skin, the warmth of his eyes and the love that michael never left luke forget, was buried that same day.
the voices inside his head continued screaming and crawling up every dark corner, desperate to pull out a memory the blonde tries so hard to repress. they didn't let him sleep, wouldn't let him catch his breath and all luke could do was let his tears run free. pushing his aureate curls into his pillow, he hoped that it would muffle his voice as he screamed at them to stop.
these were the nights when michael would hold him tight, and whisper to him that he loved him, and luke would sleep in his arms and wake up alright in the morning. even when muchael's sight was gone, and luke would cry because he was so overwhelmed, the boy could hold him and everything fell into place.
when michael was with him, nothing else mattered.
just him, the moon, the coruscating stars and his boy.
slowly, everything was caliginous and ocean eyed boy was gone.
and just as he hit the floor, someone's hands wrapped around him
just like that, luke was back with his boy. just for another night.
