With This Pen and Paper

5

By the time the morning I needed to leave rolled around I felt as though I was a stranger in the house. Grandpa had gotten up before dawn to do all of my chores before I left, Simon repacked my bags seemingly a thousand times and Grandma had made a full breakfast for everyone before I was even out of bed. A family breakfast like that only happened once a year and it was on Christmas. In all honesty we hadn't had a breakfast like that since the war started.

I still remember the breakfast like it was yesterday. I have never heard silence quite as loud as that. The only talk exchanged was simple command like statements from our grandparents. "Make sure you do your laundry", "Don't take the main road through town, take the road past the school it will be quicker with no kids around." "Simon make sure you help her unpack, don't leave her to do it by herself", "make sure she knows how to get to work", and so on. Simon and I simply replied with yes sir and no ma'am. 

I had been excited and ready to make something of myself but at the same time I felt like a fraud. Jonathon was supposed to be the first one of us to go to college. Alexander had no interest in school and had gotten out the first chance he got but Jonathon always had good grades and could have easily made a doctor of himself, if it hadn't of been for the war.

Simon had volunteered to load up the car while I said goodbye. Grandpa made it simple, that's the way he was. Just a quick hug, a reminder to write and letting me know that I was allowed to come anytime that I wanted to – if only that would've worked out to be true. Grandma was a little harder to say goodbye to. She was listing off everything that I had packed and giving me a to-do list that she had given me a thousand times already. I knew that she found it hard to say goodbye to me, I didn't want to say it to her either. By the time I managed to get her to stop talking long enough for me to hug her I was already crying, and she wasn't far behind me.

We had managed to compose ourselves long enough to say I love you and good bye before she rushed me out the door into the car. After another quick hug to each of them Simon and I were driving down the dirt road to my new life. I just wish I had taken another look at the life I had before I closed the car door.

Simon didn't really say much during the drive, but I was okay with that, I didn't have anything to say to him. He should have been going with me and I don't think it was fair that I got to leave, and he didn't. By the time we reached Miss Alice's I was ready for the day to end. Simon and I unloaded my bags into the room which was set to be mine. Simon helped to pack away my clothes and put my books on the shelves making sure everything was somewhat organised.

"There's one more thing in the car, ill be right back" Simon broke the silence for what felt to have been the first time that day. Before I could even answer him, he had left the room and was down the stairs. I had stayed put in the room making my new bed. I stayed in silence for a few minutes imagining what my life was going to be like. I was bought back to reality by Simon coming into the room.

"Jonathon wrote to me a couple of weeks ago and told me that he wanted you to have this" Simon handed me a box. I was excited to say the least. Ever since they left Alexander was usually the one who wrote home, Jonathon didn't really like to write, and they were in the same unit, so Alexander would keep us updated on Jonathon. It was a special occasion when Jonathon sent us a letter.

I over-eagerly opened the box Simon had handed me. It was hard to miss the look of entertainment on Simons face. Inside the box I found Jonathon's most prize possession. His camera. Jonathon had worked two summer jobs his freshman year to buy this camera. We barely saw him that entire summer but, in the end, he got his camera.

"he wanted to make sure that when he came home you could fill him in on the college lifestyle" Simon said to me with an odd grimace in his voice.

"this is from me" he said handing me a small parcel that was wrapped in brown paper. Simon gave me a framed photograph from homecoming the year before. Just before Alexander and Jonathon had left. Elijah had taken the photo of us just before we left for the dance. I remember taking that picture. Grandma had made me a new dress which I absolutely adored. It had been a beautiful light pink colour and took her weeks to make despite me constantly telling her I could wear something I already owned, she insisted. Alexander had volunteered to do my chores that afternoon so that I could get ready. When Elijah got there, I tried to get us out of the door before they could do anything embarrassing but when you have brothers there is no such thing.

They basically demanded that we take a picture together and it took us ten minutes to compose ourselves enough to take a picture. I still remember Simon being worried about getting dirt on me but now I don't think I would've minded getting a little bit of dirt on my dress.

I didn't know what to say to him and he could tell. He stepped forward and gave me a hug. Simon was never the affectionate one in our family, but I didn't care at that moment, I held onto him for as long as possible.

That photograph sat on my nightstand for as long as I can remember, the people in that photograph were never the same again but it was a nice reminder of what had been.