Goodbye Forever

14

A nurse settled me into a hospital room while my mom anxiously paced the floor. Everything around me faded in and out of focus at a slow and inconsistent rate. I thought I would throw up or just completely pass out again. I didn't.

 A doctor rushed into the room and started poking and prodding me, trying to figure out what was wrong, if anything. Eventually, he came to the conclusion that nothing was too serious, but I had been neglecting my needs and was mentally and physically exhausted. He said I was dehydrated, practically starved, and that a cut on my stomach had become infected.

Mom saw the cuts and gasped. I hated that I was out of control with what was happening to me.

The doctor sent Mom out of the room.

"I'll call your dad," she said before exiting.

I didn't want her to bother him over this, but I knew that she would call whether I wanted her to or not.

 "I'm going to hook you up to an IV to get you hydrated, okay?"

I nodded.

"The nurse will be here soon with some food for you to eat," he continued.

He started to disinfect my cuts with a stinging liquid. They wouldn't need stitching up, which was a good thing, but it didn't matter to me.

 None of what they were doing seemed worth it; I wished I had died jumping off the bridge while I'd had the chance.

 Once my cuts were bandaged and I had an IV in my arm, a nurse came in with some food. I started to eat the plain meal, although I didn't want to, because I knew that the doctor wouldn't let me go unless I did.

A few minutes later, Mom came back into the room. "Your dad will be here soon."

 "Mom, it's fine. There's nothing wrong with me," I said.

 "Brooklyn. You know that you're not okay. Ever since Lindsay died—"

 "Stop. Mom, I am telling you that I am fine. I'm getting over it."

"No, you aren't. And for that reason, I will be taking some time off work to help you," she sounded serious.

 "You can't do that. I don't need your help," I argued.

 "Yes, you do."

 My dad stepped into the room. "How are you, Brookie? What's wrong?"

 "Nothing's wrong," I said before my mom could talk. "I was just a bit dehydrated."

"Actually," my mom continued, "she was completely ignoring her needs, and she had infected cuts on her stomach."

"It's fine, honestly. You didn't have to come." I looked at my dad. I couldn't tell if he was worried or not caring because I hadn't truly known him for years.

"I talked to Lindsay's mom," he mentioned. "She said you'd been by with some questions."

"Yes, and now I know. Can you please just leave me alone?" I asked.

 Mom took my dad aside and I could tell they were trying to keep what they were saying a secret, but I could hear it slightly.

"How did she find out?" my dad asked.

 "Is it really a surprise? We should have just told her before."

"We just wanted to protect her."

Wait! My parents knew and didn't tell me?

"What's going on with you?" My mom didn't sound that interested; she was most likely only asking because of how awkward it felt for her.

"Kierra's pregnant."

 The second I heard my dad say that his newest girlfriend was pregnant, I freaked. How could he not have told us? Didn't he learn from last time that this probably wouldn't work?

I didn't hear what my parents said after that because the doctor came back into the room to talk with my mom.

"Brooklyn can go home tomorrow morning," he said. "She's fine, just keep an eye on her."

 I felt awful. I'd ruined my mom's evening, her income for the next while, and probably made her feel guilty over all this. Lindsay wouldn't have wanted this for me. Maybe it was really time to move on. Still, why did I have to feel like her death was my fault, when now I realize it's not?

 My parents walked back over to me.

 "I'm going home now, Brooklyn," my dad said.

 Although I hated the nickname he had given me, when he didn't use it, I felt like he was disowning me from his family.

 "Bye," I replied.

 "Lindsay's mom and brother are coming," my mom said. "Her mom wants to talk with you about all this. I'm going for a bit of a walk, but I'll be back soon, alright?"

"Alright." I remember feeling a tear drip down my cheek as my mom left. Even though it was not forever, it felt like I didn't have a family.