South Park One-Shots (Requests open)

Cartman X Male! Reader - Caught Red Handed! 🌫

Edited
Not my photo

M/n pov: ok I know what your thinking, "why am I dating Cartman?" Now let me tell you, a while back he used to actually be nice to me plus on top of that I might have had a crush for him. Even thought he was an asshole, he always spoke his mind. And I liked that. Then in detention he asked me if I would wanna join him to go see Starks Pond. I said yes of course, then he confessed and I did to and now we're here. Today was out 1st anniversary of us being together.

I was making my way to his house with a bag of Cheesy Poofs and some chocolate. I arrived at his door and grabbed my spare key from my pocket that I made for when his mom wasn't home or if I just wanted to surprise him.

I twisted the key in the door and made my way in. I quietly close the door so I can be sneaky and I start slowly making it up to his room. I start to hear weird, unknown noises. I hear bed creaking and grunts and.. A female moan?

I get up to his door that a little cracked and peek inside. My eyes widen, It was Cartman with Red! Having SEX! I don't get it.. Did I do something wrong? Was it because I didn't want to give away my virginty yet? Did he not really love me? Why would he do this! "Yeeh Red take et like the bitch you are!" "Ahh Cartman~ you're so good at this!" I start crying just listening and watching everything unfold. I then couldn't take it anymore and ran down the stairs and out the door, items still in hand.

Cartman pov: I hear something going on downstairs. I knew it wasn't mom cause she wouldn't be home till later. "Babe did you hear that?" "Hear what?" I was so caught up in my mind I forgot I was fucking Red. "You gonna fuck me or what?" "Sorry babe, let me continue~"

THE NEXT DAY

M/n pov: after I got back from Cartmans I ran here and cried myself to sleep. I was so depressed.. I woke up and looked at the time, "8:10! SHIT IM LATE!" I start scrambling around getting my clothes and school stuff together. Once done I run downstairs and grab my lunch and a piece of bread, not toasted. I grab my keys and bolt out the door. Running the entire way to school.

Once I get there I burst into class and quickly take my seat. "Well well, look who finally decided to show up. Go a reason your late m/n?" Mr garrison asked and I just tiredly replied with an "I slept late". Which I was being honest about but really I just stayed up all night crying. "Alright... U get a tardy but that's your only warning m/n. Now everyone open your books to page 184!" I get over the rest of class and head into the hallway when the bell rings for lunch. I put my stuff in my locker, grab my lunch bag and head to the cafeteria. I sit with Kyle, Stan, Butters and Kenny. My really good friends in this school.

They all start chatting and I'm just eating my lunch peacefully and listening to their convos until Cartman comes around. "Hey baby how you doing?" He sits next to me and wraps his arm around me. I don't say anything. "Come on babe what's wrong~." "Don't call me baby anymore please." I hiss back, "Why? What's wrong honey muffin, boo boo bear, sugar plum?" I get frustrated that he's calling me pet names just to piss me off. I get to my limit and scream, "why not ask RED how she's doing!? I'm sure you guys are just fine together!!"

He looks at me both shocked and filled with shame and everyone in the cafeteria had their eyes on us. Even Red had the same shame filled face on too. "I know what you did yesterday! Fucking Red and on our anniversary too! Why would you cheat on me like that!" I'm crying hardcore now just reminiscing that painful moment I witnessed. "I'm done with you now! It just goes to show how much you never really loved me.. So please, just leave me alone and don't talk to me again.. You've caused enough pain as is..." Kyle, Butters and Kenny come to my rescue and try to comfort me the best they can. Giving me hugs and telling me how brave I was and that Cartman was always a piece of shit so it wasn't my fault. Stan was just shouting and cursing out Cartman at this point.

Time skip
No ones pov: "M/n, l/n do you take this man to to your lawfully wedded husband?" "I do" "and (enter fave South Park boy instead of Cartman), do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" "I sure do" "You may now kiss the groom!" (F/SP/B) and m/n shared a kiss and a life together forever, till death do they part..

Ok here's more! I've been working on a lot lately. There should be more updates soon 😊. Question for you all, who is your favorite South Park character! Mines Butters UWU.