Forever isn't always

Ending...

A month had past and we hadn't spoken to each other at all. Everyday he would text and call trying to explain himself, but I couldn't bring myself to pick up the phone. Three weeks later I found out I was pregnant. 3 weeks after me finding out he got another girl pregnant, but I couldn't bring myself to tell him. I needed time to process, so I literally sat in the house and cried the whole month away while watching PLL. Nobody, not even my older sister, could get me out of bed, I kept asking myself " how could I been so stupid and blind to notice he didn't care about me?" Why couldn't I see it was all a joke from the beginning . When I felt that I was well enough to talk to him, I told him that i was pregnant and do you wanna know the first thing he told me? He told me to get a fucking abortion! An abortion ? He said it Right to my face, then told me he wasn't going to take care of my child and I. Sad part is I didn't need to have a abortion because I ended up having a miscarriage a week later. I just don't know how things got so bad , or what made him go to any other girl. I literally kept repeating the same Sinatra in my head " was I not go enough ", " why would he do this to me?" All I just want to know was 'do you think I can have one more kiss?' Hopefully I'll find closure in that kiss and then maybe, JUST MAYBE, We would go to one more breakfast, one more lunch and one more dinner. I'll be full with a clear mind and a happy soul. Then we would part and wish each other the best in life. How I wished for one more time in bed just to talk and laugh again, one more moment of me laying my head on your chest and listening to your heart beat. I knew what hoped for and it's simple really. We would add up the " one mores " to a life time and we'll never have to get to the part of letting each other go and this reality would be nothing but a bad dream somewhere meant for somebody else, but it's not that easy. There aren't any more "firsts". When I met you everything was fresh, the possibilities of life with you were endless because I was willing to do it all for you. Yet you couldn't do something as simple as love me the way I love you Asher. Some where in between all the ice cream and movies, our souls didn't connect. We didn't just grow apart we got older but that's not all, you lied to me. That's what hurt me the most because I would have never lied to you. We "loved" each other right? Well I loved you, but did you love me?