I'm Just Human

Chapter Thirteen

Steve sighs, scrubbing a hand harshly over his face.

"Do I have to go?" he asks. He's asked it a thousand times before, but it never changes the answer.

"Yeah, you really do. This isn't optional, Steve," Nat replies, rolling her eyes. "As an agent of Shield, you can't just decide you don't want to."

He rolls over on the common room's couch, burying his face in the decorative pillows.

"I don't want to see him. It's going to be awkward and nerve-wracking and awful," Steve whines.

A small hand lands on his back. It's comforting despite the redhead's teasing laughter.

"He hasn't said anything yet, why would he start now?" she says. And it makes sense. It really does. He's had opportunities whenever he comes to visit Shield. Steve's always conveniently away on those days. Doesn't mean it helps to soothe any of Steve's rampaging anxieties.

After he left Tony that one day not long after he'd proposed, he'd stayed in a hotel nearby in case Tony wanted to make a dramatic apology. He thought Tony would, in all honesty. But the apology never came, phone staying silent. And Peter never called.

So, instead of staying, Steve flew to see his old University roommate Bucky who'd moved to Europe. Bucky started working for military, Steve joined him in his endeavors.

That is, until Bucky got separated from Steve and sent to a country Steve had never even heard of before to fight a war that Steve wasn't even sure was real.

Steve was laid off. Wasn't emotionally stable enough, they said. So Steve, jobless and now homeless, went back to New York.

He wasn't hoping for some big welcoming back to the state, he'd barely been known outside of his clients and his ex-family, but he hadn't expected to be greeted with silence and an empty lot.

The house was just gone.

His house.

He knew about what happened to Tony after he left. He knew about how Tony finally spoke to his parents' lawyers and found out he'd inherited their billion-dollar company. He knew about Tony's struggles with staying sober. He knew about Tony's kidnapping and his return months later on the brink of death with hopeless eyes.

But for some odd reason, he just figured that the house had to still be there. Had to be there with Rhodey and Carol's loud arguing and constant teasing. With Tessa's stuff fully moved into Carol's room. With Peter's dinosaur toys littering the floors and tables everywhere. With Peter's books and bright smiles and genius brain. With Tony. He thought that despite everything, Tony would still be here, waiting for him with open arms.

He knew it was unfair of him to think that. He had been the one to leave.

He had been the one to take off his engagement ring and leave it beside the bathroom sink, turning his back on the people he once called family.

He knew it was his fault, but somehow there had still been hope that they'd be here. Just as happy and put together as they were the first time Steve had shown up and met the real family.

Time hadn't existed when he had stood there, watching the overgrown stretch of grass shimmer in the wind.

And then there had been a hand on his shoulder, a grim expression from a stranger, and then he'd been in Washington being given a proposal.

They'd found him when Tony first hit the spotlights in all his glory. They'd found out above Steve. The personal trainer slash ____, the man who'd proposed on a dock by a sparkling lake with ice cream in hand and disappeared only a few weeks later. The man who had spent time with two military men, Rhodey and Bucky. The man who had been there Before.