Bubble S.M.

Chapter 13

Flashback 

Ecstasy leans his head against his mama cuddling into her explaining how difficult his day was. He's never been so sad that he tells his mama about how awful everything is he never wants her to know that he experiences such difficulties. "Can I go visit dad? I haven't seen him in a long time mama I'm sixteen now I can handle the plane ride and I know dad would be excited to see me again?" he gives her a weak smile wiping the tears from his blue green eyes. He can't look at his stepdad, when Mark's around he won't look at anything but the floor and Mel knows that. She's been watching how nervous he gets for months and he goes through his anxiety meds a lot faster now then he ever did before. "I need to make sure that he's ok and that he doesn't forget me mama, what if dad made a new family? He wanted kids he wanted a family and a life and he wanted to build us the most perfect life. We left him mama what if he forget? What if he hates us because of it?" Mel knows that Shawn is going to hate her because of it but she would've never thought her kids thought the same things. She didn't know that Ecstasy her sixteen year old boy worried that his dad would forget the trauma that was his birth. Shawn sends cards for him on the daily and Ecstasy has never seen one Mel watched him try to mail a card and saw how angry mark got and she's been watching him do It in secret for months. She made a deal with the mailmen and burns every note that Ecstasy manages to put in to the mailbox. "Mama please?" She looks down staring her poor little boy in the eyes and sighing again. 

"You can't take the plane by yourself and no one is going to visit your dad Ecstasy." She shakes her head and sighs listening to the door shut. Mark took Shawna out in a poor attempt to bond with her but she want soon of his bonding efforts he wasn't there when it counted. He will never be the man that helped her take her first steps or the one who refused to lie to her. He'll never be the man that used to stay awake with her until one in the morning because she had a homework assignment and she didn't think it was good enough. He could never be the man that held her mama's hand when she was born. Shawn probably won't even remember all of those things by the time she gets to see him again. 

"Just let me visit home mama, I need to visit my dad so he doesn't forget that I love him." Ecstasy has always been really good at voicing his emotions and if someone he loves doesn't know that he loves them he panics he worries they'll forget just like how his mama sometimes forgot how much his dad loved her because he forgot to say it. 

"We're going to visit daddy!" Shawna smiles rushing into the bedroom. Ecstasy and Mel were watching a movie to bond while Shawna and Make went out. "Oh I can't wait to see him!" Shawnas beautiful brown eyes light up. Shawn used to say that she got them from him but in all reality her dark hair and dark eyes come from Mark. "Do you think he'd still sit down and have tea with us? do you think maybe he'd let us move back home!" She gasps at the thought. Nothing would make her happier than to get to move back into the house where she grew up. She hates their stupid apartment in Korea but she has heard her mama and Mark talking about moving back to Canada. She knows it's for her brothers sake, his best friend was a Canadian exchange student and he's back home now. Apparently this exchange was the hardest program to get into and Ecstasy found one and got accepted into one that could send him back to Toronto. He matched with a family that lived on the same block as his grandparents and his mama shut it down. He wasn't allowed to go and it broke him. 

"You can't go and visit Shawn." Mel enunciates his name so that they can understand that he's no longer their dad their dad is Mark. "Shawn's dead! Your stupid alcoholic father drank himself into a coma and mixed it with things that he shouldn't have and ended up six feet under in a ditch somewhere." Mel sighs making her children gasp. She didn't know what else to tell them to get them to stop asking. If she'd said he moved they would've asked where if she said he moved on they would've asked to meet their new siblings this was the only thing she could think of to keep her children from asking anymore.