Bubble S.M.

Chapter 16

Shawn lay on the ground right next to where her baby boy lay. At this moment she wishes it was him in the casket instead of their sweet boy. She wants to bury him six feet under and hope she'll never have to deal with that pain again. "Hi mama!" His cheerful voice always rings through her head when she comes to visit. She tries not to cry as hard as she can but knowing that she no longer gets to hug her sweet boy makes her cry. Thinking that she did this to him makes her weep.

"Hi baby boy." She presses her lips against the tomb stones and pulls the seeds out of her purse. Shawn looks up at her as she starts planting seeds one by one over her sweet boy. "I do it at this time every year. He loved the flowers in Korea so I plant him some flowers from Canada so he can still see that beauty." She nods and Shawn sits up offering her a hand.

"Do you visit every day?" He looks up planting a few more seeds.

"As many days as I can, but," She pauses and moves next to her husband. He hasn't signed the papers either but she knows that it'll be best for both of them. "Today is the eleventh anniversary of his death." She nods watering the flower seedlings. He stares at the stone.

"He's been gone for so long." His eyes well with tears. He touches the stone trying to keep strong and keep his angry tonight guy look because he doesn't want his little boy to see him cry. "God why'd you take him." He lets the water fall from his eyes. His sweet boy was robbed of a life that he had earned for himself and he got stuck underground for the rest of his life.

"I'm so sorry." She whispers kissing his cheek. She loves this man with her whole life and her son loved this man with everything that he could. He wanted to be just like his daddy and then all he wanted was to make his daddy proud but in the end all he wanted was to see his dad again. Mel took so much precious time away from the both of them and she can only now realize how horrible it was.

"I'm ok mama, I forgive you." The wind starts to blow on then and she cries against Shawn's shoulder.

"Shawna always said that the wind meant he was talking to us, then she started talking to him and hearing him talk back." Mel smiles holding Shawn's hand. "Now the wind is his version of kisses. When it stays windy he's giving us hugs, he's trying to cuddle us again even though he makes us cold." She sighs and Shawn wipes his tears.

"I miss his cuddles." He sighs. "God he was the coldest little thing I've ever met in my life. And he was so small until he wasn't." Shawn laughs at his memories of his little boy growing so slowly. At one point he just sprouted and grew what seemed like six feet.

"He was six four." She smiles slowly touching the stone. "He got really tall in Korea."

"I miss when he was just our little peanut wrapped in a blanket on your chest. When he was so tiny you needed a magnifying glass to see him." He chuckles squeezing his wife. "I wish he'd had something that made him want to hold on just a little longer." He looks at the dirt. "I was still in prison when my boy went." He's never been more ashamed of himself. He went to a maximum security facility because of his crimes that he hadn't actually committed. He pleaded guilty to the aggravated assault charge but he begged them to listen when he told them he was not guilty on any of the other charges. He had an aggravated assault charge though they had no reason to believe him.

"As much as I'm sure he would've been mad knowing you went to jail he would've been happy that you were at least distracted." He always hated when they got sad. He would've hated how upset everyone was when they heard.

"I didn't go to jail love," he leans his head on hers. "I went to prison." He sighs gently. "He would've never forgiven me."

"He would have forgiven you quickly. You're his dad and he loves you." She leans in his arms. When they forget to try and love each other their love grows and the more that they forget the more comfortable they get. "Is Emily going to come today?" He shakes his head and she gives him a sad nod.