The Fire

Chapter Seventeen

Present

The Hooded Man hadn't made an appearance for nearly two weeks now, but I had the sneaking suspicion he would appear in some way tomorrow at Josh's funeral. I really hoped he wouldn't ruin it as he did with Leah's; I needed the time to remember Josh and an interruption wouldn't be appreciated.

There had still been no progress on the investigation and there had been no leads so far. I didn't think it would ever be solved.

James had still been very reserved, and I had barely seen him over the past several days, I presumed he was coming to the funeral tomorrow and hoped he would talk to me then.

I, on the other hand, hadn't been so quiet recently. I think it was finally starting to sink in that I couldn't get my Josh back and the sooner I accepted that, the better.

I decided to go to sleep early that night to make sure I had enough time to prepare myself for the day ahead. It was the first time in a while when I slept with a clear mind – no nightmares and no sleepless nights.

I woke up at seven in the morning, climbed out of bed and stared at the outfit I had picked out last night. A black blouse with white on the cuffs and collar, a pair of plain black trousers and a white cardigan to lighten the mood a little. I didn't think I had ever been so nervous, it felt like the butterflies were taking over my body and I was already shaking with anxiety; I was just desperate for the funeral to be like any other.

***

The church was practically empty compared to Leah's, and security lined the four walls. There was probably more security than there was of Josh's family, but I suppose that was a good thing; it meant Josh and Leah's killer couldn't ruin the service this time. Even better, my phone was at home so there was no way The Hooded Man could do anything to me.

There was a coffin, even though there wasn't a body inside of it. Flowers adorned the wooden surface and trailed down the side of the table beneath where Josh's body should be. A picture of him rested on an easel to the right of it. He was smiling, of course, but that was the most beautiful part of it. It had captured everything about him in just one picture: his kindness, his honesty, his humour. And it had all been wasted – because of me.

The service was short but sweet, a nice way to say goodbye though.

When I got home, the talk about when I should return to my classes began. I definitely wasn't prepared to face the reaction I would get when I got back to university, but I would have to one day. My family and I – minus James – sat together in the living room in silence for a while once we got in before my mum cut through it.

"So, Soph, when do you think you'll be ready to go back?"

I was staring at the loose threads of the rug beneath my feet, trying to avoid eye contact.

"I don't know, I don't know what it's going to be like when I do go back."

"Has Millie gone back yet?" She asked.

I frowned and realised that I hadn't spoken to Millie in a while, "I don't know, she hasn't said anything."

"Well, I think you should go back as soon as possible; it isn't long until your exams and you can't really afford to miss any more than you already have." She paused. "I think Friday is a good day because you have one day of lectures and then a two-day break if anything becomes too much."

That sounded like a good idea, actually.

"Yeah, okay, I can see that working."

"Alright then darling. I did get a call from Janet today and there is still no progress, unfortunately." She put her hand on my back. "They will find whoever this is, darling, and when they do, he'll be gone forever."

Maybe Mum was right.

But I wasn't so sure.

There was a knock at the door, so I turned and left her to answer it. I swung open the door.

"Oh Sophie, thank god! Why haven't you answered any of my texts, my calls?" It was Christian, was he serious?

"Uh, it was the funeral today, I wasn't exactly looking at my phone."

"Oh my god yeah, I'm so sorry, I can't believe I forgot, I should have been there for you," he looked embarrassed, worried, but I could only give him nothing.

"It's okay."

"No, it's not." I didn't say anything back, the air between us was too awkward, and I didn't know why. "Are you keeping something from me?" I looked up from the tiled flooring I had been looking at the whole time.

"What?"

"You heard me, Sophie," he began, "I know you, I do. I know when you're lying, and I know when you're not okay...for goodness sakes Soph, just...let me in, for once." I couldn't bring myself to say anything, I should've known he would notice that something else was going on. And to my horror, he shook his head and turned away, walking down the drive, and away from me.