Phoenix

Unusual

Classes had started the very next day, and Gilly found herself tugged into the whirlwind that was college. She'd never liked school much, thinking it was too confining. She was a generally smart student, averaging mostly Bs and As, with a few Cs here and there. But there was one thing that she did enjoy about school, and that was seeing her aunt. During her lunch break, Gilly was to be found in her aunt's classroom, her face aglow like only a few had been privileged enough to see.

Ruth Conners was Gilly's father's sister, and she was an art teacher. Like her niece, Ruth had honey-gold eyes and had naturally black hair. That day, a pencil was stuck through a messy bun, and the two women had unwittingly matched in maroon shirts and black pants. If you didn't know them, you could wonder if they were sisters.

Like Gilly, Ruth was an oddity, but not for the same reasons as her niece. Ruth wasn't married either, although she did have a girlfriend. Gilly didn't mind though—she didn't like men although that wasn't because she was a lesbian nor straight. No, her sexuality had been shaped by those in her past. But that was not the only reason that Gilly didn't mind her aunt's sexuality. The fact was that Ruth had always been her rock. In the trouble she'd had in her past, Ruth had been there, even if it seemed like she lived a world away. The two women understood each other, and Ruth was like a mother to Gilly.

"How have you been?" Ruth asked, taking a bite of her salad.

The younger woman shrugged. "I've been okay, I guess."

Ruth pointed her fork at her accusingly. "I know that tone," she said, swallowing. "What's going on?"

"I just...nothing's wrong."

"Don't you lie to me, Gilly."

"I'm not. There's absolutely nothing wrong; I just feel rotten. I feel like there's a hole inside me. I don't know how to fill it."

"Well, I'm no therapist, but I'd say you were lonely," Ruth said, taking another bite.

Gilly's brow creased. "That doesn't make any sense though. I didn't have any friends in Boston, and I was fine, but now I'm here with you and I'm lonely?"

"I'm just saying that maybe it's because you're around people that are your age, and everyone is always with someone, and you feel left out."

Gilly's voice rose a little higher. "That still doesn't make any sense though. I mean, I feel no need to make friends. Everyone annoys me, especially my roommate. She won't stop trying to talk to me."

The older woman quirked an eyebrow. "Maybe if you weren't so stubborn and talked to people, you wouldn't feel this away."

Gilly snorted. "Yeah, okay. 'Cause that went so well at home, didn't it? Either way, I'm not like you, Aunt Ruth. Everyone thinks I'm weird, and I am. No one wants to talk to me."

"You just said you roommate won't stop talking to you." Gilly rolled her eyes. "And I'm not weird? Look at me, Gilly, the lesbian art teacher! Do you really think that people don't judge me?" Gilly hung her head, feeling guilty. She didn't endure what Ruth did, and she shouldn't assume what was going on. "You know, you've got to stop doing that," Ruth added.

"Doing what?"

"Thinking people won't like you, so you decide not to like them first."

Gilly sighed. "Ugh, this is too deep for a lunch conversation." Ruth snorted. "So, how are things with you and Annie?" Gilly asked, changing the subject.

"Pretty good actually. Annie really wants to see you. She hasn't seen you in forever." Gilly gave her aunt a half-smile. Aside from her aunt, Annie was probably her favorite person. She was always kind and had accepted Gilly as a daughter. Plus, she was perfect for Ruth.

"That's good. Can I come over on Saturday?"

"Of course! Our home is yours. Six o'clock." Gilly nodded in agreement, and a bell rang.

"See you soon?" she asked, picking up the remnants of her lunch. Ruth stood and hugged her goddaughter, promising to see her soon. Gilly savored the touch. Ruth's embrace had always reminded her of home—or what her idea of what it should've been was. She was reminded of the pain she had felt and pulled away. Ruth, used to this, let her, knowing that was what she needed at the moment. She knew that Gilly would come to her if she needed her. Asking if she was okay would only make it worse. There were days when all Gilly wanted was to be alone, and Ruth knew that.

For anyone else, the day would've become better and better as it went on. Being able to see a close relative you hadn't in a while, and then getting a call from a company saying that you had been hired. But Gilly wasn't anyone else. Her day wasn't going well. It was one of those days where you could hope only to be a good enough actor to hide your feelings until you could let them out. That was the only way to cope. So, Gilly had put on a happy voice and thanked the company. She was to come in the next day to start, and Gilly could only hope that she'd be better by then.

After her classes, she had gone to the library to get her homework done, not wanting to see Chloe. Chloe wouldn't help. She'd pry and prod when all Gilly wanted was to be left alone. As she returned to her room, Gilly hoped that Chloe would be out, and she'd be free to let everything go.

Her hopes crumbled and shattered at her feet when she heard the whimpers that went along with sobs on the other side of the door. She sighed, pushing the feelings that wanted to burst forth farther down. She repeated her mantra internally. 'Bottle it up, hide it away, give it to Ellie later today.' The simple statement had gotten her through so much by letting her hide everything away until she could release it to her journal. Taking a deep breath, she unlocked the door and stepped inside.

The ginger was lying on her bed wearing a pair of blue shorts and a tank top, the latter of which was stained with tears. She was sitting cross-legged on her bed, head in her hands. The sobs were filled messily with hiccups, whimpers, and blubbers of half-formed words. Gilly hated it and wondered what she could do to make her stop. Tears, like so many other things, triggered memories of her home. Memories of her half-sister Shelby who seemed to hate everyone, and memories of noises through vents.

Gilly had never been good at comforting people. She didn't enjoy it, and it made her feel rotten inside. A memory of Chloe talking about where her friend lived popped up in her head, and Gilly backed out of the room again. The sound of sobs faded away again as she stopped in front of a door.

Her hand was held up to knock but something stopped her. It was only a moment's hesitation, and she knocked a moment later. The door opened by a blonde woman with blue eyes a moment later. She wore a dress that was an ugly green and showed way too much skin.

The woman's brows creased as she looked at the stranger in front of her. "Yes?" she asked.

"Are you Chloe's friend?" Gilly asked, cursing her voice for wavering.

"Who wants to know?"

Gilly stuck out her chin and stared at the woman in dislike. "I'm her roommate. She's crying, and I thought you could help her better than me."

"Of course," the blonde replied, gesturing for Gilly to lead the way. She unlocked the door, and the blonde hurried in, taking the ginger in her arms. Gilly went and grabbed her iPod, unwinding her earbuds. She tucked them into her ears and turned on her music, cranking up the score to the first Harry Potter movie. She left the room quickly, not going anywhere in particular. She just wanted to get away.

The door closed behind her, and she was oblivious to the seed of dislike that she helped sow, unknowing of how it would later affect her.