The Choices I've Made (By the Bay #1)

Chapter Ten: Molly

That night, I dreamt of Jake.

I'd like to say it was the first time, that all the nights before, I'd fallen into a blissful slumber, thinking only of Dean and the life we'd soon share.

But it wasn't like that.

It never had been.

While I had been spending my days with Dean, going fishing and out to eat, as we tried to force a friendship into something more, I had secretly been sharing my dreams with a man I hadn't seen for well over a decade.

Until now.

The moment Jake had stepped back into my life, walking into that hospital room, looking like one of those hot doctors on TV, it didn't matter what hour of the day or night it was.

I couldn't stop thinking of him.

First, it had just been memories.

Little things, like our first kiss. The sweet innocence of it as he'd placed his lips on mine. He had been so unsure, so tentative. Meanwhile, my heart had been ready to burst right out of my chest from the sheer restraint I showed. I'd wanted to kiss him so badly for so long that, when it finally happened, I never wanted it to end.

The memory of our first kiss had given way to that first day we showed up at school, declaring ourselves an item by holding hands in between classes for the whole world to see. Again, my heart had been beating wildly, but this time, it had been pure pride. This boy, the one I'd loved since I barely understood the word, was finally mine.

I'd sworn I'd never let go.

But that was the thing with young love.

Like a first kiss, it was so sweet and pure.

We'd thought we could fight the whole world as long as we were together, but at the first sign of battle, our shields had fallen, and our walls had crumbled.

I dreamt of the day he left, the moment my heart followed him across the sound.

I'd told myself I wouldn't go to see him off.

It was his decision, his choice, and I wouldn't be a part of it.

But even I had known that was a lie.

It was my decision as much as his. I'd stayed behind. I'd chosen this life just as much as he chose his.

His father said he was taking the morning ferry. No one was going with him. He'd asked everyone to stay behind, even Dean.

Even me.

Our blowout of a fight had solidified everything. I wasn't going to chase after him, giving up my life so that he could start his.

And he refused to stay.

A crossroads—that was where we were, where we'd stay forever, I imagined.

I was so angry. So angry, it hurt. My chest ached from the pain of it.

I wanted to go after him to that pier and hurl all the anguish I felt. This wasn't supposed to happen. This wasn't how we'd planned it.

But, as I'd recently learned, life had a way of screwing you over just when you thought everything was settled. So, rather than screaming the rage in my heart, I silently let him go.

I watched as his beat-up truck boarded that ferry, tears staining my cheeks, and I let him sail away.

For forever.

I awoke, the pain so real, I was sobbing. My ribs ached, and my throat stung as my body reminded me exactly what it felt like to lose Jake Jameson.