The Choices I've Made (By the Bay #1)

Chapter Twelve: Molly

Several things seemed to happen all at once when I awoke that morning.

First, my eyes opened, and I saw the yellow of the walls.

Where was I?

Second, I moved, stretching slightly to get a better view of my surroundings. A blissful sort of pain hit me. It was the kind of soreness I felt after a run around the island, but as my brain hopped on board, I found myself smiling.

Running had never been that fun.

Third, I rolled over, reaching out for Jake, only to find an empty cold spot where he'd once been.

Fourth, my smile died, and the sunny color of the walls faded as cloud cover fell over the island.

Our night was over, and so were we.

Reality had crept back into our lives.

I found myself resting against the borrowed pillow in the borrowed guest room, feeling lost and alone.

I'd told Jake I was prepared for this. I'd said I was a grown woman who could handle all the pitfalls and implications of the two of us coming together like this. The truth was, I was still the same sad girl on that dock, crying over a boy who didn't love her enough to stay.

Or, at least, part of me was.

I had known this was going to hurt. I had known it would burn deep down to my very soul, but to say no—to reject love, even for a fleeting moment—would have been a lie to everything we'd had.

And maybe I liked the idea of self-sabotage.

Hell, I'd done it over and over again. First, with Jake and then with Dean. I was on a roll.

Maybe I should just head on down to the bait shop and hit on that nice old man with the lollipops next.

I mentally rolled my eyes, and then the flashbacks from the night before began.

The look in his eyes when he'd come.

How confident he had been when I told him there was no possible way a woman could come that many times in one night.

He'd proven me wrong and then some.

How gently he'd held me after every time, like he was cherishing the short time we had as much as I was.

I bit my lip to keep the tears at bay as I rose from the bed, the smell of him following me. It was then that I noticed his things were missing from the room.

Only a thin yellow rose from the garden remained on the nightstand along with a check for the room.

Nothing could keep the tears in after that. And who was I to stop them? There, in the yellow room, I let myself cry. I let the loss of him hit me full force.

Both then and now.

Jake wasn't a man you could let go of easily.

I'd done so once before.

So, I'd do it again.

But, for now, I let myself cry and mourn all that could have been...if we'd just believed.

Successfully sneaking out of the yellow room without being seen by guests, I made my way down to my own room on the first floor. After a quick shower and a change of clothes, I was in the kitchen, working on my morning routine. Thankfully, I had this down to a science, and I'd done the bulk of the baking the night before, but I always liked to make something fresh.