Virgin at 40 (BXB)

Chapter 24

Xander's POV:

Where is he hiding? Man...he's getting better at hiding from me. "Mat-" Oh… here he is. What is he doing, lying down inside? Pushing open the slightly opened door, I was about to attack him with tickles until I heard a sob. Then another. Soon he was in a sobbing mess as I hesitated whether I should make my presence or not.

"Papa…*sniffs* why you leave Matty?*sniffs* was Matty a bad boy dat's why papa dun wan Matty?" I felt my heart shatter into pieces upon hearing his cries. Nothing hurts me more than seeing my baby cry. Wasting no time at all, I scooped him up into my embrace, hugging him tight in my arms as he fisted my shirt with one hand, burying his face into my chest as he cried. In his other hand held a photo of us with Kye at the pool as we smiled joyously for the photo. The photo that I've hidden from him, hoping that he'll forget about Kye if Kye doesn't ever return.

A month after Matthew's first birthday, Kye disappeared as soon as his father took back the company. All he told me was that he was going to further his studies. It has been 2 years since then. I haven't receive a call or text from him nor was I able to reach his phone. Asking his parents was also no help as they couldn't contact him either.

The house suddenly felt colder as if it was missing a major piece. I remember the painful heart-wrenching cries from Matthew a week after Kye disappeared. The whole time he was calling out 'Papa' to no one, hoping that Kye would miraculously appear in front of him. Sometimes when I bring him out, he'll have the same habit of patting his feet for Kye to help him wear his shoes, only to tear up slightly when he remembered that Kye wasn't around. Even a year after Kye left, Matthew surprisingly still remembers him and would always take every chance to ask me when his papa is coming home with those teary eyes of him.

"When is papa coming home, daddy? I miss papa." He sniffled as I wrap my arms around him even tightly, not knowing how to reply. What should I say when I don't even know anything myself?

"I miss papa too." I answered honestly, my heart clenching at my own words which I've tried to not say in front of Matthew ever since that day but what can I do? I still love Kye so much, so much that it actually hurts not being able to see him for 2 years already. Who knows if he was taking care of himself or eating well? Is he even alright all by himself?

"Then why daddy no find papa?" He questioned with such a sad look in his eyes, I couldn't help but tear up slightly at how much of a failure I am. I tried baby, I really tried. I asked Castian, his parents, called up the place he's suppose to study in but no. Nothing. There's no news about him at all.

"I'm so sorry, Matthew. I'm so sorry." I apologised to my precious angel, only to see him reaching towards my face as he wiped away my tears which I don't even know had fallen.

"Sorry daddy. Don't cry. Matthew love daddy a lot." He comforted, placing a peck on my cheek then rubbing against it with his own cheek as a sign of comfort. Man… what am I doing acting like this? I should be the one comforting my baby, not the other way around.

"Daddy loves you too, Matthew. So so much." I replied, snuggling my face against his much smaller torso. Man… he's so small but he'll soon grow as big as me within years, have a girlfriend, get married, have their own kids and then living happily together. How I wish for that to really happen for him. Gosh, I sound like an old man.

*ding dong ding dong*

Upon hearing the doorbell, his eyes lit up in delight, knowing who's over. His favourite uncle of course. "Uncle Cas! Daddy open door open door!" He exclaimed, rushing to his little feet as he bounced in excitement, waiting for me to follow quickly.

"Yes yes. Slow down Matthew, he won't be going anywhere." I commented but it seems like it went unheard.

"Yes daddy!" He shouted in reply but ran to the door nonetheless. Kids…