Strangefrost Oneshots

Someone You Loved

[Authors Note: Okay so this chapter is going to be based on the song Someone You Loved by Lewis Capaldi. If you haven't listened to it, the song is just above the chapter title! The lyrics will be written like this, while the rest will just be normal text.]

Stephen Strange sat alone in his crumpled bed, letting out a soft sigh and lightly covering his face with his hands. It had been a few months since his boyfriend, Loki, had been killed by Thanos, and the doctor was not coping well at all. He would have a lot of emotional breakdowns, day dreams, zone outs, and would even occasionally forget to eat. The man had slacked on his work, and wasn't getting anything done anymore. All of the Avengers worried about Stephen, but the stubborn doctor insisted that he was fine, so they didn't push him any further. Despite this, everybody knew that he just wasn't the same anymore.

I'm going under and this time I fear there's no one to save me. This all or nothing really got a way of driving me crazy.

The doctor sniffed and looked around the bedroom, his dull eyes studying each piece of furniture. He began to get flashbacks of him and his boyfriend, remembering how they'd work together as his gaze fell onto the desk meters away from his bed. His eyes began to water and he blinked quickly, looking to the side and over to the tall bookshelf that lingered near the corner of the room. The greying male stood up and made his way over to the shelf, dragging a long pale finger along the spines of the books. He sighed as more memories began to swarm his mind, soon remembering that he and Loki used to always read together too. With a quiet huff, Strange looked down at his feet and let his hand drop, it now just hanging by his side.

I need somebody to heal. Somebody to know. Somebody to have. Somebody to hold. It's easy to say, but it's never the same. I guess I kinda liked the way you numbed all the pain.

Loki had always meant a lot to Stephen. Yes, their first meeting might not have went very well, but their ever growing future soon began to brighten. The more time that they spent together, the more close that they became. After quite a few long months, Stephen eventually found the courage to ask The God of Mischief out on a date. In less than a week later, the two stubborn male's finally announced that they were happily dating, and everyone was overjoyed. Everything was going as it should have been. They helped eachother out of their shells and became one. The two were rarely seen without one another, and their lives proceeded as normal, together.

Now the day bleeds, into nightfall, and you're not here to get me through it all. I let my guard down, and then you pulled the rug. I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved.

Stephen bit down on his lip and shut his eyes tightly as light tears began to form again. The ocean in his head had hit its peak, and the thought waves began to crash down on his mind. He took a sharp breath and dug his nails into the palms of his hands, doing his best to try and keep himself composed. The mountainous waves got stronger, ruthlessly crashing and smashing down onto the sorcerer's mind, and soon enough drowning his thoughts completely.

I'm going under and this time I fear there's no one to turn to. This all or nothing way of loving got me sleeping with out you.

The sorcerer let out a weak cry as his once light tears became heavy and began to stream down his cheeks. His hands began to tremble and he slowly made his way back over to the bed, kneeling down and resting his head onto what used to be Loki's side of the mattress. Sobs echoed out from the doctor's throat and filled the once silent room, soft murmurs tumbling out from his lips as his nails clawed at the bed sheets. Just the thought of not being able to sleep by his partner's side again burned at his forever broken heart.

Now, I need somebody to know. Somebody to heal. Somebody to have. Just to know how it feels. It's easy to say but it's never the same. I guess I kinda liked the way you helped me escape.

He wanted someone to be by his side. He wanted someone to pick him up and hold him in their arms. He wanted someone to dry his tears and tell him that everything was going to be okay. That someone had always been Loki. But Loki couldn't do that anymore. Because Loki was gone. And there was nothing that he could do about it.

Now the day bleeds, into nightfall, and you're not here to get me through it all. I let my guard down, and then you pulled the rug. I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved.

Stephen blamed himself for Loki's death. He felt as if it was his fault. If he had been there, Loki wouldn't have been killed. He could have used the time stone to save him. But he hadn't been aware of what Loki had been up to, since the raven haired male had told him that he was only on his way to visit family in Asgard. Why had he believed him? Why hadn't he tried to stop him? Why hadn't he just done better? These exact thoughts had ran through the sorcerer's mind every day ever since his lover had been killed. He had always blamed himself for the man's death, and that would never change.

And I tend to close my eyes when it hurts sometimes. I fall into your arms, I'll be safe in your sound 'til I come back around.

The doctor inhaled sharply, choking on a sob as he closed his eyes and burrowed his face into the crisp, but now damp mattress. He sniffled quietly, beginning to use his photographic memory to imagine Loki's image again. His grip on the sheets weakened as he saw Loki infront of him, and he ran towards the male with open arms, happy tears streaming down his face. The taller male hugged the doctor, murmuring softly to him, and telling him that it was okay. Stephen had always felt safe in Loki's arms. It felt like the world stopped spinning, and that it was just them, together, in this quiet moment.

For now the day bleeds, into nightfall, and you're not here to get me through it all. I let my guard down, and then you pulled the rug. I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved.

Strange's eyes soon blinked open, and more tears spilled down his cheeks as he realised that he was still in the bedroom, and that he was still alone. Alone, and without Loki. The sorcerer stood abruptly, storming over to his desk and throwing it to the side with a thrilling scream of rage. Tears dripped from his eyes as the male began to wreck his bedroom, throwing anything that got in his way. He flipped one of the cupboards, and tipped the bookshelf onto it's side completely, novels scattering onto the floor with a loud crash and flooding the place. The doctor yelled out his boyfriend's name, the desperate tone in his voice ripping at his tonsils and making his cries sound weak.

But now the day bleeds, into nightfall, and you're not here to get me through it all. I let my guard down, and then you pulled the rug. I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved.

Stephen's legs soon gave up, and he fell down onto his knees with a small thud. His scarred, bruised, and trembling hands reached up to rub at his eyes as more tears soaked his cheeks. The male let out a strangled scream and slammed his fists down onto the ground, his spinning head dipping down low and his aching back arching as he sobbed loudly. Extreme guilt clawed at the man's throat, so extreme that he struggled to breathe. The sorcerer fell down onto his side and choked out a gaspy breath, his red eyes continuing to well up with sharp tears. His heart shattered completely, and his body shook after every violent sob. The man was absolutely broken.

I let my guard down...

He could have done more to help.

And then you pulled the rug...

And now he had to pay the price.

I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved...

Of living alone, without the love of his life, forever.