Iridian

09. EXIT

.memory (fragment #8)

The airport was extremely cold at 4am. I shivered in the jacket Dante provided, gazing unfocusedly at my clenched fists. We sat side-by-side, lost in our own private musings. Occasionally, I sensed him casting a sideward glance at me, but never said anything.

He had picked me up earlier, from the street corner away from my mother's house. There hadn't been a need to text him—he was already there, waiting, with our luggage all stowed in the boot. There was nothing else to do but leave.

Beyond opening the car door and slipping into the passenger seat, I was barely aware of my surroundings. I just let my feet lead me, or let Dante lead me. I wasn't even entirely sure when we'd reached the airport, or how long I'd been sitting in that spot. Dante did everything—checked-in the luggage, obtained our boarding passes, and then even slipping my new passport in my bag. All of this was done in silence, as if he was waiting for me to speak. I guess he knew I just needed to be by myself and was giving me as much space as he could. For that, I was grateful.

I thought I'd be a teary mess, but somehow crying didn't seem the appropriate reaction in that moment. My mind was an incoherent jumble, unwilling to stick to one thought, simply leaping from idea to idea, all the time trying to avoid the events of the last twelve hours—which was a futile attempt in any case. There was a surreal numbness to it all, drumming in the sense of isolation upon me. I'd never felt so alone in my entire life.

Dante had walked off somewhere, and there was not a soul beyond him that I could talk to. No Julian, no Juno, not even Luna, and I still owed Luna that farewell letter. I could just see her storming into my mother's house demanding to know where I was and that she was going to smack me for a very unfunny practical joke. Except that it was no joke at all.

I sighed and closed my eyes, trying to stem that aching cramp in my chest. It had been there ever since I'd walked out of the house. My hands were freezing but I just didn't have the strength or willpower to tuck them into my pockets.

The airport was busy—even at 4am—from the amount of people crossing my peripheral vision, but I had no interest in watching them. The intercom would announce flights every now and then though none of the details registered on my brain. I figured if it was time to go, Dante would fetch me. Or he could leave me and I would remain the immobile stump glued to the hard, orange airport bench. I hardly cared.

I don't know how long I remained in that state until a pair of shoes made their way into my line of sight, directly in front of me. The shoes resolved into Dante crouching before me, looking up at me with a steaming tumbler of tea in one hand. I stared at him blankly, wondering what he was up to. He sighed, set the tumbler to one side and grabbed hold of my clenched fists to gently unclench them on by one. When he was done, he grasped both of my chilled hands in his. The sudden heat of his hands shocked me into acute awareness. I tried to pull away but he simply held on tighter.

"Stop," he said quietly. "Stop being like this."

It was the first indication I had that he was more bothered by my silence than he had shown. I shook my head, trying to shake off the lethargy that had kept me so numb. My mouth opened to speak, but no words came. It was if all the words were lost in the pain that continued to cramp chest.

::My chest hurts,:: I finally mindspoke him, and even that came out as a whisper in my head.

::I know,:: he replied. I was thankful that he didn't add an 'I told you so' to his words. There was sympathy and concern mirrored on his face, and something else I couldn't identify. It was something I'd never seen before and it spoke to me in ways that no mere words could reach.